Sorry late negroes

Something very funny happened tonight. This guy hits me up on Facebook and tells me, in no uncertain terms, that I still wanted to "give it up" to him. I was very polite and told him that I'm married and that we're not going to sleep together again.

What he said next really pissed me off.

He said "fuck yo man, he ain't got nothing to do with this".

It took everything within me not to go off on him, but then it hit me. Negro, you ain't about nothing, don't have anything and you're a sorry nigga. You're so sorry that you gotta try to get with a married man. You gotta try to force yourself on somebody! Don't you have any morals about yourself? Are you THAT DESPERATE???
When someone says NO, THEY MEAN NO.

Oh by the way, I removed him from my friends list and blocked him. You ARE the Weakest Link, GOODBYE!

End Transmission.

Starting 2010 in the Bahamas

Slap me.

I didn't realize that I haven't blogged at all in the New Year. So fine. Slap me real good. (On second thought, don't do that, I might like it too much.)

Chris and I just got back from his birthday cruise in the Bahamas. I had an entire week of fun lined up. We stayed in a nice hotel (or so I thought, keep reading) and I had a limo set up and ready to take us to the clubs, where we had VIP service and table/bottle service. Oh...we had a REAL good time! I am uploading photos to Flickr and will share the link soon. Then we went on the cruise...a 4 day trip to Nassau, CocoCay and Key West aboard the Majesty of the Seas. Everything was good...until the ship started to rock back and forth. I mean, you could REALLY feel it moving! People got sick from the motion, and we all just wanted to get off of the ship.

Now, let me explain why I thought we stayed in a nice hotel. On the way back to the hotel in the limo, one of our friends got a case of motion sickness. We arrive back to the hotel, and while everyone is going into the main entrance, our friend walks down the driveway, assuming to walk it off. Half an hour goes by and no one has heard from him, he's not answering his phones or the door. Seeing as all of the rooms were under my name, I call the front desk and ask them to do a well-being check. The evil witch at the front desk said that they were not going to do that, nor were they going to key into the room. I demanded a key, which I received, and went into the room.

HE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

Panicking and very upset, I go back to the front desk and demand that security be dispatched to search the grounds to find him. Searching the grounds does NOT mean walk to the ballroom entrance and go back inside. Chris and I walked through the entire parking lot to find him. We found him...lying on the ground inbetween two parked cars. Needless to say after going back inside and (at this point) yelling at the overnight manager and wanna-be security officer, we got him back up to the room.

The next morning, I spoke with the front office manager, advising her that I have contacted legal council, and asked her point blank "what can you do to make this go away?" She comp'd two of the five rooms I had, and forced the overnight manager to hand write an apology. In spite of all of this, I do not think we will ever stay there again.

The high point was that upon our return to Miami from the cruise, I booked the penthouse suite at the Hilton Bentley. This suite is a two level suite and comes with a private rooftop dual-level patio, rooftop jacuzzi and some of the best views of South Beach I've ever seen! All in all, we had a real good time.

So now you know where I've been. And I promise to blog on a more frequent basis. 2010 promises to be an exciting year. And yes, I still have my BlackBerry camera phone, and will not hesitate to use it!

End Transmission.

Thanks for fucking up my evening, Annie's!

Happy New Year!

This evening Chris, myself, and our friends Judy-Kay and Adrienne went to Annie's Paramount Steakhouse in Dupont Circle in Washington, DC for a late dinner. Everything was fine for the most part.

Then we walked into the restaurant.

Our server's attitude was....shall we say, bad. He seemed to have a chip on his shoulder all evening long, and just wasn't friendly at all. Not what I expected at a restaurant that I have dined at every time I come to DC. We get the check, and I paid it.

Then, he did something that I totally did NOT expect.

The server comes back to the table and asks "did I do something to offend you?" I say "of course not - why do you ask?" He then shows me the tip that I left him, as if to say this is not enough!

How fucking tacky can you be? That offended me so much, I reported him to his manager on duty, and said that I would never dine there again. Then I, along with everyone else, left. I no longer feel comfortable there, and Annie's has lost a long-time customer, due to the actions of one server that decided to be tacky.

Sorry Annie's, but your time has passed. Think I'll go to Dupont Italian Kitchen from now on. Good luck to you.

End Transmission.

Happy New Year!

Dear Friends –

Happy New Year!!!

First off giving glory to God as He is the head of my household and has been an awesome God this past year, as He is each and every year, every month, every week, and every day.

Over the course of 2009, God has truly shown me that He is in our midst, both directly and indirectly. For starters, my job has grown from a simple Administrative Assistant to both a trainer and a sort of a technical manager if you will. Currently I still am an Administrative Assistant to the Chicago Region, but I am also now the webinar trainer and a SharePoint site owner! With the addition of these duties, and of course by the grace of God, there have also been tons of kudos, and two—count them, two---pay increases! Know that He is faithful to those that look up to Him and believe in Him!

Now, on to the story of Chris.

Chris, if you don’t know, is my other half, my life partner, and as of June 2, 2009, my husband. Yes, we went to Las Vegas, stood before a minister with our closest friends in attendance, and pledged our lives to each other. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful, and the City of Las Vegas, the Mon Bel Ami Wedding Chapel, and the Bellagio Hotel and Casino could not have been more welcoming and accommodating, and I want to publically thank them for that.

As far as the family front goes, needless to say that with an increase in your finances means an increase in the headaches. My mother, upon finding out of my good fortune, showed a bad streak towards Chris and said some things that should not have been said. We have since worked it out – somewhat - however I am afraid that the relationship between my mother, me and Chris has been somewhat harmed because of this. I am disappointed, because I wanted nothing more than my mother to accept Chris for who he is and be happy for both of us—and to share in the blessing with all of us. As for my father, I have not heard anything from him in regards to anything as I type this letter. I did give both of my parents a substantial amount; I can only hope that it is being used wisely.

Well, that is 2009 in a nutshell. Please continue to pray for me and my family, as well as for each other. May God continue to bless all of you in 2010, may He keep you all safe, and may He give you the desires of your heart!

End Transmission.

The Perception Of Who Your Friends Really Are

This past weekend I had the pleasure of spending time down in Atlanta and had a somewhat good time. It was Pride (didn't know until 2 days before leaving for Atlanta), it was chilly, and it was rainy. Some people down in the south were complaining that it was too cold, while I was very comfortable. Atlanta folks perceived it to be too cold, while I perceived it to be a little chilly, but comfortable.

Perception falls on many levels, whether it be the temperature, whether a car (or a person) is attractive or not, or even how you treat people that you call your friends. Allow me to give you my perception of something that happened while I was down in Atlanta.

I have two friends down there, both of whom will remain nameless...we'll call one "John" and the other "Raymond". "John" and "Raymond" both knew I was coming, they both had my flight arrangements and hotel arrangements. They both knew I was renting a truck and was coming not only to party, but to see both of them. When I landed safely in Atlanta (that will be another blog entry), I sent a text message to 3 people...Chris, "John" and "Raymond". Chris and "Raymond" both sent messages back almost immediately. "John" didn't respond, and when he did, it was this long spiel about being out with his boy and that he'd be free soon. This was 11:00am Atlanta Time.

"Raymond" showed up at my hotel at a little after noon. That's one hour after I landed. (Thanks, by the way.) I didn't hear back from "John" until well after 4:00pm. That's 5 hours after I land. Keep in mind, everyone knew my flight arrangements days in advance! At the time I heard back from him I was at Piedmont Park at Pride. I was asked to call back when I was leaving Pride. No problem. Left a voicemail (couldn't text while driving) and didn't hear back until WELL AFTER 9PM. By then, hell, I was on my way to the clubs. He said that he "fell asleep", but that's not my perception on the situation, based on experience.

Now here's my perception. If you didn't want to be bothered or if more important things cropped up (i.e. your boyfriend - but that should NEVER BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FRIENDS), then SAY SOMETHING AND DON'T LEAVE A PERSON HANGING, OR STRING THEM ALONG. This isn't the first time that "John" has left me hanging, but it will be the last!

I'm quite sure that "John" will be reading this blog, and that's all good. I'm quite sure that all sorts of things (some true, most not) will be said following this. But I will say this: My feelings have been hurt for the last time. I now know who I can call on...and who I can't call on...the next time I'm in Atlanta.

End Transmission.

CTA wants to raise fares....again

Well that didn't take long.

Once again the Chicago Transit Authority is crying "broke" and wants to raise fares. But this time, it's personal.

See the chart below (taken from the Chicago Tribune this morning):

THREE DOLLARS A RIDE FOR MAINLINE EXPRESS BUSES and the END of "certain" express service? But wait, here's what I find interesting about that. Only ONE express route that is being eliminated (the X80) SERVES THE NORTH SIDE. All the others serve the SOUTH, WEST AND SOUTHWEST SIDES. On top of that, ONE-HUNDRED TEN DOLLARS ($110) A MONTH FOR A MONTHLY PASS?

Suddenly I hear a loud crash and see a lot of dust rising from the outskirts of downtown Chicago. Oh wait, that's the CTA Headquarters on Lake Street imploding.

End Transmission.

Money Makes People Turn Against You

In case you haven't heard, I recently came into a little money. I planned to share some of it with family and with Chris (my partner).

That was until this morning.

I received a call from my MOTHER who proceeds to tell me that Chris "is going to clean me out" and that during our last visit to my mom's house, HE SAID THAT MY FATHER "DOESN'T NEED ANY OF THE MONEY."

WHAT THE HELL??? How DARE you tell a lie like that? It would've been one thing if I wasn't there during the last visit, but (1) I WAS THERE and (2) CHRIS DIDN'T SAY A WORD DURING THE ENTIRE VISIT.

Why would you tell a lie like that? It's not like you weren't getting your share FIRST (well, after the church, that is). Yes, Chris was getting slightly more than my mother, but believe me, there is plenty to go around. Now, Chris is getting significantly more because I cut her share down. You don't have to lie because you don't like somebody, or because you don't like the fact that I'm in a gay relationship. If you do that, then it proves what you are all about - GREED.

Now, I could be like one of these ignorant niggas on the street and knock up five or six women, have ten babies and not pay any child support. Instead, I'm in a HAPPY RELATIONSHIP without the drama.

Be happy for me - and don't HATE.

End Transmission.

Conclusion of incident with Kingsbury Plaza

It looks like the saga with Kingsbury Plaza has come to a conclusion.

Yesterday I spoke with one of the higher-ups at The Habitat Corporation which manages Kingsbury Plaza, and I told him about the situation with the property manager. He was shocked to hear that she spoke to us in such a manner, apologized repeatedly, and told me that he "would talk to her". Of course all of this was after I told him that I spoke to counsel and that we absolutely would not reside in the building.

Then we talk about how the leasing agent was offering to cut a deal and accept a year's worth of rent ahead of time. He then comes to tell us that the deals that the leasing agent were attempting to make were totally improper. With that said, he was trying to break the rules to get us in the building??? I can see it now....we live there all of a good three months and all of a sudden we get a knock at the door. "Sir, we need you to leave the building because your acceptance was improper."

I have a strong feeling there will be changes at that building. Too bad we won't be there.

End Transmission.

Is racism alive? This blogger thinks so!

I know that racism truly isn't dead, but it's interesting when it comes in your face like it did today.

As a followup to yesterday's entry I contacted the property managers at both Kingsbury Plaza and Aqua to talk with them directly about my current dilemma with RAPEr and KRAMer (aka Draper and Kramer). I told them that I had paperwork in my custody that would pretty much clear up any issues. To sweeten the pot, I even gave them names and numbers of people they can contact to clear up everything, told them that I have sent such paperwork to the credit bureaus and to the rent verification services, and even offered to pay one year's rent up front. All of these things are true.

The property manager at Kingsbury Plaza, after defending her leasing agent Aaron, told me, in not so many words, that "whatever information I had was absolutely moot, and that if I didn't clear up these issues, (this last sentence is verbatim) I wouldn't be permitted IN HER BUILDING." First of all, do not EVER, EVER talk to me as if I'm a dog. ALLOWED IN YOUR BUILDING? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I basically told her that I would accept the denial, not to worry about it, and hung up in her face.

The property manager at Aqua, while she was not as brazen as the manager at Kingsbury Plaza, heard everything that I had to say, explained her side of the story, said that she would "do some checking" and promised to call back later this morning.

Of course she didn't call back.

Where am I going with this?
You have a black male with money attempting to move into a majority white environment.

At Aqua, the only black person I saw on the grounds was the door person. At Kingsbury, same thing. At neither property did I observe any black tenants. Not to say that they don't have any, but I didn't see any. Another thing is that I'm gay and am married to a male, whom I will not hesitate to refer to as "my partner" to anyone. This includes the leasing staff and management. Now I'm willing to bet if I were either a white male, or if we were a white couple, or a college student, it would be absolutely no problem at all to move in. Hell, they might have given me the keys right at that point!

Well no more. I plan to put these complaints on any and all apartment rating websites I can think of. I may even go as far as filing complaints against these two properties. When you are in a position of authority and have the power to make exceptions or override something that is obviously false, and you immediately come out of your office sounding cheery, but then take one look at us and your tone goes down about two octaves and you start to appear very "stand-offish", something is wrong. It's your typical "black nigga syndrome". Ah, but don't worry property managers, I'm not your typical black thug coming in the building with my homies getting ready to smoke weed and drink and have loud parties. I don't have four baby mommas and six children. I'm not going to assault your tenants in the elevators. You know this is what a lot of white people think of black people. But I will tell you what I will do. I WILL pay my rent on time every month and be a respectable neighbor.

I just won't do it in your buildings. And I'm fine with that. Just remember, KARMA IS A BITCH.

End Transmission.

Apartment Hunting and Bulls*it

So Chris and I have been looking for a new apartment for a while now, and it has been an absolute headache.

For starters, we have been declined for two properties because of something that appeared on my credit, thanks to my current management company, Draper and Kramer (or as I call them, Raper and CRAMer), which I'm getting cleared up as we speak. But the one property that we were leaning toward, Kingsbury Plaza, was pretty much giving us the run-around.

The leasing agent, Aaron, is overall a nice person, but it was one inconsistency after another. First, we were told that our applications could be run and he would waive the application fee ($100) but we would have to pay $200 to hold the apartment. Then he reversed course and said that I would have to pay $50 to run both of our applications. Then he ran the applications and told us that we would have to clear up everything on our credit reports and gave us the 800 number to the verification service. I called the verification service and they told me otherwise.

So after catching up Aaron in a mistruth (aka LIE), we went back to the office this morning. We sat down and I explained to him that we called the verification service and they told us something completely different from what he said. I told him that I would be able to pay the one item that was asked of me in two weeks.

Now Aaron knew that I was expecting some money, however I do not know the exact date that it would arrive. Aaron wanted me to call and pretty much push to get the funds sooner than later. I told him that I would not do that, and in not so many words, would not act on his schedule anymore. I then told him to give me back the $200 I gave him to hold the apartment.

I didn't appreciate being lied to or forced to operate on someone else's schedule. Needless to say, I don't think we'll be living there.

End Transmission.

5 Days - Keep the Olympics Away!

The number of days until the International Olympic Committee vote in Copenhagen. In 5 days it will either be a victory for those people in Chicago that don't want the Olympics, or a bitter defeat.

I am one of those individuals that does NOT want the Olympics here.

We have students being killed in the streets, but we want the damn Olympics.

We have one of the largest deficits in history, but we want the damn Olympics.

People are being laid off by the thousands, but we want the damn Olympics.

We have thousands of homeless people and aren't helping them, but we want the damn Olympics!

The average price of a ticket to see the games will be $75. SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS. The average person can't afford to keep their home now, so how in the hell will they be able to afford to go?

Our students can't even go to school because of the gangs and the threat of being killed. Our police department is undermanned by 14,000 officers and our Mayor (hail to the thief) won't negotiate a contract, hire more officers or give the officers that we have now a raise or the tools to combat the problems, but he and his cronies can find almost ONE TRILLION DOLLARS FOR THE DAMN OLYMPICS.

Do you know what we can do with ONE TRILLION DOLLARS?

- Adquately staff the Police Department

- Combat (and possibly end) the homeless problem

- Create more AFFORDABLE HOUSING (and to be clear, affordable housing does NOT mean $250,000-plus dollars)

- Improve transit options (how many people are sick of delays and bus-bunching!)

Those are the top four things that can be done, but no! We want to bring the damn Olympics here without taking care of the underlying problems.

I'm sorry, but WE ARE NOT READY. IOC, ARE YOU READING AND LISTENING?

Go Rio!

End Transmission.

Where I've Been

I've just returned from a four-day road trip to Richmond, Virginia with Chris to attend his family reunion, and I have to say it's good to be home.

Our trip started on Thursday morning at about 5:00am when we pulled out of Chicago heading east. We took the toll roads all of the way there. I have to admit, the trip down is absolutely beautiful, with the greenery, the mountains (more on that in a second) and the scenery. Of course, this being my first serious road trip, I was excited, but I had no idea what I was in store for.

The trip does go through mountains. Or should I say OVER them. Coming down from the mountains through Pennsylvania, it was beautiful but absolutely scary at the same time. Winding through curves and a 6% downgrade, you could look in front of you and see NOTHING. That's right, one wrong move and you're done. I even had a slight panic attack going, but after getting through it, it was a piece of cake coming back.

Being back on the east coast felt really good, once we finally got there. (It takes about 13+ hours by the way.) The family reunion was very interesting, getting an opportunity to meet more members of Chris' family, seeing his mother and the kids again, and of course, Chris' crazy brothers, one of whom I lovingly call "stickboy". Chris does have one uncle that we thought would have a serious issue with our relationship, but he pretty much avoided us during the entire reunion, so that was no big deal. We also had a chance to catch up with some of Chris' friends in Richmond, and we all had dinner together and shot the breeze over cocktails and food at this restaurant called O'Charlies in Richmond. It was truly a lot of fun!

Coming back we were supposed to leave Richmond at 5:00am, but we didn't hit the highway until about 11:00am, 6 hours behind. We got through the mountains and part of the way through Ohio before it got really dark, at which point I had the trucks that were on the road "carry" me all the way back across the Illinois state line. Believe me, the "Welcome to Chicago" sign was a very welcome sight!! We pulled into the house at 1:15am and immediately crashed.

Needless to say, as much as I love my baby, there will be no more long road trips like this. I joked that if it takes more than 2 hours via car, we'll be flying. Chris laughed. I didn't.

After I got some sleep and woke up the next day, then I laughed to myself.

It's good to be home.

End Transmission.

Yet Another Reminder Why I Don't Go Out

So this evening I went out to this club called Spin in the Lakeview neighborhood with Chris. The club was having a fundraiser for TPAN (Test Positive Aware Network) and I try to support them in any way I can. It was a $5 suggested donation and an open bar for the first hour and a half of the event. I have a slight issue with open bars because as soon as the taps shut off, the people leave...and they don't stick around for the real event. Tonight was of no exception.

But the reminder came when my friend Thomas was introducing me to several people that he was hanging out with. One guy (who's name I won't print here) was obviously drunk, drunk to the point where it was obnoxious...AND THE OPEN BAR HAD ONLY BEEN GOING FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

How was he obnoxious? I'm so glad you asked. First, he crossed the line with me by putting his hands all over Chris' back while he was at the bar. I can understand a pat on the back but when you start rubbing your hands all over him, it's time for me to step in, which I did, very nicely I might add. The guy (hell, I'll say it, his name starts with a J) says something along the lines of "black people don't age", to which I responded "are you talking about him" pointing to Chris. He says "yeah, I don't think he's even 30 years old", to which I said "he's 32". I guess two plus two kicked in because he asked me "is that your boyfriend" to which I said "no, he's not my boyfriend. He's my HUSBAND." He instantly backs away, and I think I'm done with him for the night, right?

WRONG.

He then comes up to me after Chris goes back to the bar to get me a bottle of water (thanks, baby) and tells me that he thinks I'm "hot" and that he would screw me with his 13 inch "friend". At this point I'm completely not feeling him anymore and just tell him "first of all you're not going to do that and secondly you need to slow down". He then finds one of Thomas' other friends, tongue kisses him in the bar and walks away, only to find TWO OTHER BOYS and starts kissing and hanging all over them. By the way, the first boy he tongue kissed was waiting outside of the bar for J when we left.

I guess alcohol will instantly make a 5 inch "friend" turn into 13 inches, because I can tell you, it ain't nowhere near 13. Size queens out there, be prepared to be very very disappointed.

End Transmission.

E. Lynn Harris passes away

It was announced in the news today that we lost someone very near and dear to most of us in the African-American community. E. Lynn Harris, a very talented and gifted author, passed away at the age of 54. E. Lynn Harris, author of Invisible Life and This Too Shall Pass, among other stellar novels, was in California on a business trip.

Rest in peace E. Lynn. You're with the angels now.

End Transmission.

Uh Antoine Walker, are you crazy?

Two different stories ran about former NBA Star Antoine Walker. Notice the sequence and tell me if he isn't just absolutely clueless, "special" and slow. Here's the first article, printed on Wednesday the 15th:

Bad-check warrant out for ex-NBA star
LAS VEGAS -- A warrant has been issued for the arrest of former NBA star Antoine Walker on criminal charges stemming from $822,500 in gambling debts. A court clerk says Las Vegas Justice of the Peace Melanie Tobiasson signed the warrant Tuesday. Walker, who is from Chicago, is accused of three felony counts of writing bad checks. County prosecutors say he failed to make good on 10 checks totaling $1 million written to Caesars Palace, Planet Hollywood and the Red Rock Resort.
Walker's lawyer in Las Vegas, Jonathan Powell, didn't immediately respond Tuesday to messages. Prosecutor Bernie Zadrowski told the Las Vegas Sun that Walker has repaid $178,000 of the debts incurred last July to January.

And then today's article:

Police nab Walker in casino
Chicago native and former NBA star Antoine Walker was arrested Thursday morning at Harrah's Casino at Stateline, Nev., on a felony arrest warrant charging him with passing checks and obtaining credit with non-sufficient funds in Las Vegas, according to the Nevada Appeal in Carson City. Walker is accused of owing three Las Vegas casinos more than $800,000. Walker's bail was set at $905,050, cash only, but later had it reduced to $135,000 and has since been released, the paper reported. He is scheduled to appear in Las Vegas Justice Court on Monday. Walker was in South Lake Tahoe for the American Century Championship celebrity golf tournament. According to police, a Harrah's employee who had seen a TV news report on Walker approached a deputy on foot patrol. Walker was then arrested at a bar in the casino, the paper reported.

Now, does anyone see a pattern here? You OWE three casinos money, yet you get caught up IN a casino. It sounds like someone needs a true case of Gamers Anonymous.

If that were me, I can guarantee you wouldn't find me anywhere NEAR the state of Nevada. Atlantic City, well that's another option.

End Transmission.

A Sad Day for Chicago

This morning, another part of Chicago died a horrible death. The Sears Tower, as it has been called for many years, is no longer the Sears Tower. The building underwent an official name change, and as such, a piece of Chicago history is gone.

What did they change the name to?

For me, as to about 99 percent of true born-and-bred Chicago natives, it will always be the Sears Tower. Besides, what the heck kind of name is Willis Tower anyway? I immediately think about Different Strokes and that famous line, "what you talkin about Willis?"

Rest in peace Sears Tower. We will keep your name alive.

End Transmission.

Some gay people can be REAL TRIFLING AND BITTER

So if you don't know by now, on June 2 I got committed to my partner, Chris.

Some people are still mad and upset about it.

Just a couple of nights ago, I logged onto Yahoo Messenger (for the first time in ages) and was contacted by someone that I used to hookup with quite a while back. He asked when we would be able to hookup again, and I gave him the most honest answer I could:

Never.

I told him why, and he turned around and said "nigga please, what gay relationship is faithful? I'll break you off some $$$ like I did last time." He then proceeds to log off quickly.

I blocked him, but not before asking myself, why are gay men so trifling, bitter and jaded when they can't get something that they want? When I realized that I couldn't get somebody that I wanted, I left it alone. Yeah I dreamed about that person but I didn't get all mad and pissed off over it. This individual needs to understand that I am NOW MARRIED. Period. End of story. Oh by the way did I mention that they are...oh....35 YEARS OLD? WITH A GIRLFRIEND? So not only are they bitter over not being able to get me, they can't decide what side of the fence they want to be on.

Wow.

End Transmission.

Craziness at the Second Storey

So this evening I went to the Second Storey Bar for a drink after work and saw one of the craziest things ever.

I saw one of my church members there and we started to have a conversation. He introduced me to one of his friends, who was a bit overserved. Standing next to him was an older (like 65+) caucasian guy. The two of them couldn't keep their hands off of each other. The black guy (who was VERY feminine by the way) was all in my business. I told him I was married and every black guy that walked into the bar was my partner as far as he was concerned. All of this while the older white guy was touching, caressing, and eventually, putting his tongue down his throat. Ewwww......

Then this masculine, attractive white guy walks in, and we try to have a conversation. Unfortunately the queeny black guy (who by now has had two more drinks), forced his way into our conversation, starting grabbing the guy, going under his shirt to grab his chest hair, and finally his dick, all of this while the older white guy was grabbing on the black guy, and eventually, grabbing on the white guy that was attempting to talk to me.

At that point, seeing a visual of the three of them attempting to have sex, I nearly threw up, and decided to go home.

End Transmission.

And the idiots REALLY come out!

(story courtesy of the Chicago Tribune)

Six people were arrested on charges of illegally carrying guns and two others face charges of illegally carrying knives at the Taste of Chicago and in Grant Park on Friday, authorities said. Police said a 15-year-old boy was arrested with a shotgun after being spotted with it at Taste, while five other people were arrested outside the Taste grounds; a total of 31 people were arrested at Taste Friday, according to police. In addition to those arrested with guns, there also were two people arrested on misdemeanor charges of illegally carrying knives, police said. The majority of the 31 arrests were on charges of battery and reckless conduct, police spokesman Roderick Drew said in an e-mail this afternoon. There were no incidents of shots fired inside the Taste, although there was an unconfirmed report of shots fired on Van Buren.

All five of the adults appeared in Cook County Bond Court today. Four had bonds set at $100,000 by Judge Laura Sullivan. The four who appeared in bond court and had their bonds set at $100,000 were: Catrice Winston, 34, of the 1400 block of West Morris in Berkeley, who was found with a .25-caliber handgun with 9 rounds; Dashawn Dandridge, 18, of the 400 block of West Rutledge in Park Forest, who was apprehended with a loaded .38-caliber handgun; Shawntel McPherson, 18, of 14800 block of Ellis Road in Dolton, who was caught with a loaded .38-calibre handgun; and Kyle Walker, 21, of the 9300 block of South Prairie Avenue, who also was arrested with a loaded gun. Daryl Stewart, 28, of the 3300 block of West Madison Street, also was charged with aggravated unlawful use of a weapon and appeared in bond court today after being caught with a loaded .22-caliber handgun, but his bond amount was not immediately available.

In what appears to have been the most serious arrest, a 15-year-old boy was caught with a loaded shotgun he had been trying to hide in a backpack, police said. About 7:30 p.m., a police supervisor saw one group of young people exchanging gang signs with another, putting people in the area "in fear," said Chicago Police News Affairs Officer Robert Perez. Among one of the two groups, the supervisor saw a teenage boy with a bulging packpack, police said. Officers saw the shotgun sticking out of the suspect's backpack and when the teenager saw police he started to run off. Police ran after him and arrested the suspect as he ran across Lake Shore Drive toward Lake Michigan, police said.

About 9:40 p.m., some 30 police officers had to break up a melee at Congress Parkway and Michigan Avenue as large crowds dispersed west out of Grant Park. What started out as an altercation with a small group of people involved -- shoving, pushing, yelling -- within seconds became a larger fight with 10-20 people involved, according to a witness. Police quickly handled the disturbance. No one was hurt and Drew had no information about any charges.

WTF???? Are these people nucking futs? I'm so sick and tired of these little dick niggas bringing their "hood" mentality out of the hood. If you wanna act like that, STAY IN THE HOOD WHERE YOU ARE. And for the 15 year old BRINGING A SHOTGUN, there's a special place for you and a special person named Bubba waiting for you.

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And It Begins

The idiots have started to come out of the woodwork for the Taste of Chicago. Read below:

Chicago police arrested an Indiana man Saturday after he allegedly tried to bring a fully loaded handgun into Taste of Chicago.
Acting on a tip, the police said they found the 9mm handgun on Shrome D. George, 25, of the 3400 block of South Chicago Court in Michigan City, as he tried to enter at one of the festival's security checkpoints about 5:30 p.m. Saturday, according to a release from the police department.
He has been charged with unlawful possession of a weapon, police said, in addition to other related weapons charges and will appear in bond court today.

I'm sorry, but you don't bring a loaded handgun to a major festival "just because". This isn't third grade, and it's not show and tell.

Kudos to the Chicago Police Department for getting this guy!

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Why Are We So Cutty Towards Each Other?

Earlier Chris and I were at Pride Fest, the now-two-day festival before the Pride Parade on Sunday, and we saw a group of guys that I happen to know. So, being courteous, I went up and spoke to them. One of them turned on the fakeness (because he really doesn't like me...I wonder why?) and spoke. The other, well, here's how the conversation went.....

"Hello Mr. HOOKER, how ARE you Mr. HOOKER? Hey Shelby, it's Mr. HOOKER, you know Mr. HOOKER don't you?"

First of all, it's wonderful that you know my last name, but don't bash it into the ground being cutty. You do that in elementary school, not as an adult. Secondly, please, use my first name ONLY, the whole world doesn't need to know what my last name is.

But back to Pride Fest. I didn't talk about the fact that he couldn't cut it with black folks so he had to turn exclusively to another race (he's black himself), nor did I talk about how his bald head makes it look like a peanut on top of an elephant. No, I took it in stride for about 2 minutes and then Chris and I left.

Now I'm sure people are going to say "you just cut him in your post", but no, I actually didn't. There is a difference. I didn't say it to his face, although I thought it, I didn't say it. I was the bigger man in that instance and kept my mouth shut. I only said it here to illustrate what type of individual he is for my readers.

Needless to say, tomorrow is Pride day, and I'm sure there will be quite a few individuals that will be very cutty, so Chris and I have already said that we would go to the parade, go up to the afterset, stay for a very short time, and then HIT IT.

More updates tomorrow.

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UPDATE: Fatal Accident on DC Metrorail System (last update 12:08pm)

(9:39am)

The death toll has now risen to nine. And of course the finger-pointing has started. Some people are pointing to the computerized system, some are pointing to the operator (whom did not survive, by the way). The NTSB has already said that the trains that rear-ended the first train should have been replaced years ago, and did not contain data recorders.

On a personal note, Chris and I know several people that travel that particular line daily. All but one has been accounted for. Please continue to pray for all of the individuals touched and affected by yesterday's tragedy.

(Update: 12:08pm)

The one individual that we could not account for has been found. He was on the train that was involved in the accident last night. As of now he is in the hospital with a broken arm and a concussion.

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Fatal Accident on DC Metrorail System

(7:30pm)
At least six people are dead following a serious accident on the Metrorail Red Line in NE Washington today. One of the individuals was the train operator.

From what is being said now, one train was stopped and a second train on the same track rammed the first train from behind.

Let us all pray for those four individuals that did not survive, as well as the approximately 70 (or more) injured.

Metro has set up a hotline for those seeking information on loved ones that might have been on the Red Line. You can call 202-737-4404.

More updates as information becomes available.

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You know what? I get it.

It's been about two months since I've last posted, and for that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to neglect my blog readers.

But I'm going to come back to the blogging world by saying....I get it.

What do I get?

I get why there is a growing percentage of black gay men that want nothing to do with other black gay men. I understand now why they feel that way. I understand why when another black man speaks, they keep it to "hello" and keep it moving. I understand why they don't want to be intimate with another black male, opting instead for puerto ricans, mexicans, and...caucasians.

Why you may ask?

Because there is a large percentage of black gay men that are full of shit. They have issues, love to play games, love to lie and just be stupid. I'm not talking specifically in a romantic or hookup sense, but in the sense of even being an associate.

I'll give you an example:

Tonight, an associate that I've known for a while named Brandon (that is his real name) was supposed to come hang with me, chill and catch up. He allegedly gets downtown and allegedly gets on the bus, and allegedly gets mad at the bus and allegedly gets off. The only problem with all of that is we have this neat gadget called...

THE CTA BUS TRACKER.

Yes, we can track all of our buses on the web! (http://www.ctabustracker.com) I asked him what the bus number was, and he gave a bus number that wasn't even in the CTA fleet. Not only that, bus while the "bus" was allegedly in motion, there was no bus to match where he was telling me that he was. Then he went further to insult my intelligence by telling me he eventually ended up at an intersection THAT DOES NOT EXIST. (For you Chicagoians out there, tell me there's no intersection of Roosevelt Road and Cottage Grove Avenue.)

Unfortunately, this person is black. He is not the first person I've tried to socialize with of color that has not been full of shit. Now, I'm NOT saying that all black men are full of it, just the vast majority. My husband is black and not full of shit, and he is one of a FEW that I will continue to socialize with.

Here's another example:
I was on the lakefront a few days ago, minding my business, when I saw this guy that I really knew about a year ago. We started talking and I thought that we could continue our conversation a little later. When I proposed that, he started coming up with all of these excuses why he "couldn't" talk later. (When I say later, I don't necessarily mean later that same day.) All he had to do was just say that he didn't want to talk later for whatever the reason, and that would be the end of it.

Why, black men, do most of you continue to play this game? There are a few of us out there that are looking for genuine friends, associates, or whatever, and you're hurting it for us out there. If you want to be on some bullshit, may I suggest you take a running start and jump into the middle of Lake Michigan. In February.

End Transmission.

"Help the Homeless today...." ADDENDUM

Well, the guy was out there. As promised, here are some photos (taken from my camera-phone, I had to do a "walk-by".

Unbelieveable. If you see this guy, watch out! He's obviously a scam artist!

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"Help the Homeless today......"

I saw something today that really made my hair stand on end.

Downtown on Madison between Wells and Franklin, there is this guy that claims to be homeless that will stand in the middle of the sidewalk, halfway hunched over, wobbling all over the sidewalk, saying "help the homeless today....please can you spare any change....help the homeless today....." and sometimes will say "happy (whatever the day of the week is)...help the homeless today.....".

When I first saw him I gave him the benefit of the doubt....UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON.

I was returning from lunch with two friends, and saw him in his usual position mid-block. A guy walks out of the chinese restaurant and gives him some food. Kind gesture, right? I mean you're out here claiming you're hungry and homeless, right?

The "homeless" guy starts walking backwards, watching the guy walk away (the "hump" in his back suddenly disappears and he can walk normally now) still sprouting his "help the homeless" line...

AND THROWS THE FOOD IN THE TRASH.

When I saw that, my mouth just dropped, and I went off. You're down here acting like you're homeless, and for what? To get money for what? If you didn't want the food, just tell the guy "no thank you", but DON'T take a handout and then throw it away like that! Stop acting like you're homeless and in need, when it's obvious you're not!

And while we're on the subject of people not in need.....there is a lady that stands in front of the Chicago Cultural Center on Michigan at Washington every day at going-home time, asking people for fifty cents. Then the Pace Bus pulls up, she hops on and off she goes. This is an EVERY DAY THING. (And for the record, no I haven't given her any money.)

I understand that times are hard and all, but seeing people like this makes me absolutely SICK TO MY STOMACH. Scam artists are everywhere people. If you're in downtown Chicago, do not give to the people asking for change. Seriously.

And a further note, if that guy is still on the street when I leave work today, I promise to take a picture of him and post it on here so you all can see what a true scam artist looks like.

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"I will take you to heaven"

So I'm on the bus this evening coming back from a meeting at my church and this guy gets on the bus.

He starts talking about how HE is going to take us all to Heaven, that his name is Jason (Christ) and a host of other gibberish.

Needless to say, EVERYONE on the bus said this at the same time:
"I wish I had a car".

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Ah, the signs of Spring

So I stayed home today to get some rest (I haven't been feeling well the past two days), thereby missing the 60+ degree day we had here today.

Looking out of my window I see all the kids playing, cars bumpin their bass, feel the warm breezes coming in through my window, and wishing today were a Saturday.

Then I turn on my scanner.

Why is it that the warm weather always brings out the idiots and the crazy fools?

In the 30 minutes that I was listening to one of the CPD's Citywide Channels, I heard numerous (meaning more than 10) calls for shots fired, batteries in the street and just overall stupid stuff.

And this was just at 5:00 in the evening. I can just imagine the calls that will come through as the evening goes on. And just for the record, tonight's low is supposed to be about 50 degrees.

Can we please put down our guns and just live in peace and harmony?

It's going to be a long summer.

End Transmission.

Scarlet Bar

Scarlet Bar, located on the northside of Chicago in Boystown and opened in November of 2007 in the former Gentry location, was decimated by fire on last Friday. There were two floors of apartments over the bar which also were, in effect, destroyed. As a result, the entire staff of Scarlet Bar has lost their jobs. In addition to the bar being lost, five individuals (including one of the bartenders from the Lucky Horseshoe bar living in the building) escaped unharmed, but lost everything.

According to the Chicago Fire Department via ChicagoPride.com, there is a "high probability" that the building will not be salvageable.

There is an emergency benefit being held tomorrow (Monday, March 2) at Cocktail, located at the corner of Roscoe and Halsted streets. One half of all of the sales made between 7:00pm and 9:00pm will go towards the individuals displaced and the Scarlet Bar staff that lost their jobs. I implore you, if you are able, please come out and support this event. Always remember, it could've been you.

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CTA Bus Incident with Chicago Police 02 13 09, 10:14pm

On February 13, a Chicago Police officer was called to remove a person from a bus that was intoxicated and did not pay his fare. The individual was non-compliant and the officer had to use force to remove him.

Some individuals (including the individual that shot this particular video) think that the officer should be disciplined. I absolutely do NOT agree with that.

The Chicago Police is not a social club. It is not a customer service organization. It is a LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. The sworn men and women are charged with upholding the laws and keeping public order. Last I checked, not paying bus fare WAS A CRIME. Being non-compliant towards an officer IS A CRIME.

I stand behind the officer and what he did, because if the cop had backed down and not removed this guy from the bus, it would give fair game for anyone else wanting to break the law. Besides, what was the officer supposed to do, BEG THE GUY TO GET OFF?

See the video for yourself and let me know what you think. I ask that you NOT pay attention to the commentary in the video as it is biased, and I would like for you to form your own opinion.

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The New Me!!!

You know we all have to pull away sometimes and make a transformation.

I've done just that. Starting with the hair.

Yeah, it cost a little more than my usual haircut and took about 2 1/2 hours, but in the end I like it....and this will not be the first change.

More to come.

End Transmission.

President Barack Hussein Obama

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Let's Start The New Year With People That Are On Bulls**t!

Happy 2009 to everyone! Hopefully this year brings joy, peace and prosperity to one and all. Let's begin.....

Recently, an individual named Cory made my list of individuals that are on b.s. You know how there are individuals that act as if they are on top of the world, and actually believe their lies? Well, here's a prime example:

When we first met, he told me that he was a model, had a house in Los Angeles and all of this money....but he lives with his family in the southern suburbs, and just this past weekend I ended up paying for breakfast and dinner (to his defense he tells me that his "wallet" was in the "glove compartment" of his "car" which he suddenly had to put in the shop the day before - but when I asked him about it he told me that his "uncle" had to get the "wallet" for him). You have all this money and don't carry emergency cash? Good thing I had a rental car!

Then this evening I looked like a fool waiting in my lobby for him to arrive off of the train so we could chill out, but no calls and no text...and then when I called him, he TURNED HIS PHONE OFF! I finally got in contact with him an hour later, and this is what he told me:

- He fell asleep and missed his stop.
- He was getting off the train and dropped his phone in the snow.
- He threw up all over himself.
- His phone froze up and he had to turn it off to get it to work.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe him. My gut and my feelings are telling me that this child is full of manure. In the time from waking up and getting off the train, a text could have been sent. I've always said, it only takes TEN SECONDS to send a text message. Needless to say, this little boy will not be making it to the bonus round.

Moving on to the second individual of 2009 that is pretty much a queen.....I was on the Red Line a few nights back and these two feminine boys got on the train. One was a total hot mess, and the other kept eyeing me all the way from Lake/State to Chicago/State, when I asked him "is that your friend?" He said "yeah". I said "that's what's up". If you are on the train with your boyfriend, DO NOT START EYE-HUMPING OTHER MEN! And yes, I took a picture of the eye-humper:

I couldn't get a photo of his friend because I couldn't get a good angle. He got off at North Avenue, while his friend got off at Belmont.

GOOD STUFF.....Chris' birthday is coming up next Saturday, and I plan to go out to DC on his birthday to celebrate it with him. I got him a few presents, none of which I'll describe on here because I know he reads my blog now. :-) Barack Obama will become the next president in just about 7 days from now, and everyone is excited! Everyone, except those individuals still stuck on the Monday before election day, when McCain was still in the running.

End Transmission.

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2008 Comes To A Close

As we near the end of 2008, I find myself reflecting over the past year. This year was one of new beginnings, closing of some chapters, and a lot of change. This year brought a new job by the grace of God, the end of a relationship, and the beginning of another. It also brought a lot of challenges, and a lot of new opportunities. It also brought a cruise to Key West and Cozumel and a proposal, and some drama from the Devil.

But most of all, it brought the peace and understanding of God. That is what I am most grateful for.

Now, to recap on some of 2008:

* Cruise to Key West and Cozumel: This cruise brought myself and several people together from my church aboard the Enchantment of the Seas cruise ship (Royal Caribbean). This trip was not without drama; click the link above to see what I'm talking about. But it also brought a wonderful event; my proposing to my partner Chris and asking him to be my life partner. (He said yes, by the way.)

* The election: America's first African-American was elected to the office of President of the United States. Barack Obama, a junior senator from Illinois that quickly showed that he is more than a senator, rose quickly in the eyes of the Democratic Party -- and the nation -- as people turned out in record numbers to vote for Barack. (I won't mention his competor's name, but let's just say that his competition turned on themselves after the election.)

* Frustrations: Several times this past year I was completely frustrated with individuals that decided to walk away from me because of my status or because of photographs capturing me at certain events. I'm actually happy that those individuals are out of my life because I've been made into a better person because of it.

* Chris: This is why I've been made into a better person because of a very attractive, stable, silly and sensible person in DC named Chris, the man I intend to exchange vows with on June 2, 2009. Well, this isn't the only reason why I've been made into a better person; God gets the entire credit for that.

* The new job: Need I say more about this? God came through big time and gave me the blessing of this job, a job which I love with people that I truly gel with.

Well, those are the highlights of 2008. As we prepare to end this particular chapter and proceed to the next, may you all be blessed, be kept, and be safe as you all pray out the old-pray in the new, party, or in some cases (including mine), do both.

End Transmission.

Yes, I am getting married!

The rumors are true.

In June of 2009 I will be standing before a minister and committing my life to Chris.

We've set up a website that I encourage everyone to go to.

http://timandchris2009.com

Believe me, everyone that we know has asked for an invitation to our ceremony. Even those individuals that are "psuedo-related" or those that kicked us to the curb (I won't name any names) have asked, but because of capacity limits, everybody can't come.

Oh, a special word for those "special" people out there:
Don't try to crash it. Invites will be checked & there will be plenty of security.

End Transmission.

TPAN (Test Positive Aware Network) Party

As I mentioned in my last entry, tonight is the monthly TPAN party at Hydrate nightclub in Chicago. I like going to these events every month because you can go, drink, be social and leave. From 8:00pm-9:30pm with a $5 donation, they have an open bar - which is why most people get there early!

For more information, go to http://www.hydratechicago.com/ or http://www.tpan.com/.

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What the #$%^ does my past have to do with ANYTHING?

Recently I had an experience with one individual named Michael. We were on the phone talking a couple of nights ago when he told me that he wanted me to "admit that I'm not the person I once was", attempting to bring up what I've done in the past.

Now, a long time ago yes I was a bad boy. But we're talking...oh...FIFTEEN YEARS AGO? However, some people with absolutely no life to live (you know, the ones living in their mother's basements, househopping, hustling to try and get to Manscountry or Jackson Park...those people) continue to spread rumors that I am that same person.

Let's see...FIFTEEN YEARS AGO:
- I lived with my mother
- I was ONLY 16
- I didn't know what common sense was

And I'm what....THIRTY-ONE NOW?
- I have my own place
- I have a very good job
- I don't take b.s. lightly

When I told him that I would not do that because the past is irrelevant to the here-and-now and one should not be judged based on what happened IN THE LAST DECADE, he wasn't buying it. It turned into an argument, to which end I hung up, ending said stupid half-assed argument. He proceeds to call multiple times last night, but thank God for Caller ID and voicemail!

This morning he decides he wants to call me...ON MY WAY TO WORK. That is absolutely the WRONG TIME to bother me with some stupid mess. Long story short, he wants to lie and say that he's not judging me, that what other people have to say do not influence his decisions, and that he's too "mature" for this.

Well Michael, if you were so mature (and by the way, he's FORTY-FOUR YEARS OLD), then you wouldn't act as if you were sixteen again. Below is my response (the last one I'll ever send) to him:
Honestly, I don't appreciate our conversation last night. I don't feel that a person should be judged on his past & that's what you're doing. You're taking what people have told you about my PAST and trying to judge me based on that. Why should I have to declare anything about my past? This ain't a job interview! So I think it would be best if we NOT see each other [referring to tonight's TPAN party...more in a seperate entry] and I let you go back to those f___ and hang with them since they claim to have your best interests at heart, when they really want you to be as miserable as they are. Finally, you judge an individual based on the PRESENT and NOT THE PAST. It is irrelevant to the here-and-now. You take care of yourself and be sure to tell your "friends" that they won.

He then was blocked at the BlackBerry firewall.

End Transmission.

Forced to give up some booty? You decide.

Folks, I need your help here.

I have an associate (I won't be naming names here) that is really liking an individual and the individual is liking him. They hang out together, watch movies together, have a good time.

Only one problem: my associate is a top and the person he likes is a top, although he (the person my associate likes) has admitted that he's bottomed every so often, although it's not his thing. My associate doesn't like to be on the bottom either.

He disclosed to me yesterday that on instant messenger he asked the guy what he would do if he never bottomed for him. The guys reply was "well i'd tell u if u don't that's fine. I like i care about u, but ima get it from somewhere else. If we r really serious with each other at the time u woulda given up some ass already...it would be stupid 4 me 2 get with someone that wasn't willin to cater to my needs...for now i'm good on the ass thing, we still getting to know each other."

That was yesterday. Today my associate tells me that he says that "sex is secondary to me. i wouldn't cheat, that's not who i am...i was in a relationship like that. me and dude were in love, months had gone by he got ass from me but he didn't give it. but we definitely came to a compromise...he suggested a 3some every so often but he gave me some ass."

Knowing that my associate will probably not give up the booty, what should he do? Count his losses and walk away? Stay in it with the hopes that this guy can change?

Please, leave a comment, I'd appreciate it.

World AIDS Day

Today is December 1, 2008, otherwise known as World AIDS Day. Take the time today to get educated and get tested! Remember, knowledge itself is power!

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Chicagoans, Watch The Signs!

It's that time again!!! If you see a sign like the ones posted below, HEED THEM.

Every year in Chicago, there is an annual overnight parking ban on about 300 miles of main (arterial) streets from 3am-7am, whether there is snow on the ground or not. There is also a secondary parking ban that kicks in when 2 inches or more of snow falls. The City of Chicago strictly enforces this ban, and will not only tow your vehicle, but will require you to pay a minimum of $210 in fines.

You have been warned.

End Transmission.

A Face On Domestic Violence

I know you all are used to - and even expect - a crazy post from me, but today I'm going to touch on something a lot more serious - domestic violence. Take a look at an article I read today in The Washington Post:

Woman Had Lived in Fear Of Former BoyfriendD.C. Victim Slain After Calling Police
By Robert E. Pierre and Clarence Williams - Washington Post Staff Writers - Tuesday, November 25, 2008; B01

Tiffany Gates was so afraid for her life that she began making her own funeral arrangements.

The 33-year-old had been stalked by her former boyfriend, who relatives said abused her for at least a year. In August, he set her Southeast Washington apartment on fire. On Friday, authorities said, he stabbed her to death after she dialed family members and 911. Gates was on the phone with a federal marshal as she was being attacked.

"He is here and kicking my door in," she told him. The marshal called for backup, but by the time he and D.C. police entered the building a short time later, Gates lay dying.

The killing was the culmination of a violent relationship, as described in court documents and by family members and friends. Police arrested her former boyfriend, Roderick A. Ridley, 31, who was hiding in a vacant apartment in the building. He was charged with second-degree murder while armed.

The marshal and a D.C. corrections officer, members of a regional fugitive task force who were looking for Ridley because he had escaped from a halfway house, were outside the apartment building when the attack occurred. Family members questioned why the men did not rush in before police arrived. Two law enforcement officials familiar with the details raised a similar point but spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the case. Family members also said they wish Ridley had been charged with first-degree murder.

"Marshals were outside the door while they were stabbing her," said Manyka Gaither, a family friend. "It's an insult."

Dave Turner, a spokesman for the U.S. Marshals Service, said, "Our deputies are cooperating to the fullest extent possible with the ongoing investigations, but we are prohibited from discussing any details associated with the case."

Gates, a native of the District, graduated from Duke Ellington High School in 1992. She had worked at Housing Opportunities Unlimited and in her spare time styled hair for friends and family.
"She was always smiling and jovial," said Jacqueline Ellison, a longtime friend.
But her relationship with Ridley, friends said, was dark. Gaither said Ridley had frequently beaten Gates, who recently sought a clean break. She changed her telephone number, Gaither said. But that did not stop Ridley from showing up at her apartment with threats.

Gates and Ridley began dating in the summer of 2007, records show, and lived together for a while in the 3900 block of D Street SE, in the same apartment where she was killed. The relationship deteriorated, and she turned to the police and courts for help in August after a series of incidents.
Gates sought a temporary protection order after Ridley allegedly threatened her life, the records show. Gates accused Ridley of kicking and punching her and striking her head with a knife in a dispute at the apartment Aug. 12.

According to the filing, Ridley repeatedly called Gates, at one point saying that "she was going to die today and that they were going to die together." On Aug. 13, she asked police to help her retrieve her belongings. Ridley was there, and his behavior that night led to his arrest.

Ridley would not let police inside, according to charging papers filed in D.C. Superior Court. He allegedly screamed from the window that there would be "fireworks" and then set a couch on fire. As black smoke drifted out the window, police evacuated the building and called firefighters to the scene. Firefighters found a charcoal grill on the couch and a butane lighter in a nearby bedroom. Ridley also was in the bedroom, unconscious, the charging papers stated. He was briefly hospitalized and charged with arson.
A judge ordered that Ridley remain jailed pending trial. But when he pleaded guilty Oct. 9, the court permitted him to be released to a halfway house. He escaped Oct. 29.

On Aug. 13, Gates received the temporary protection order, which was good for two weeks. But with Ridley locked up at the time, she did not pursue a permanent order. Her court filing in August described a pattern of frightening conduct, including a February incident in which Ridley threatened to set her on fire in front of her 9-year-old child. The filing said Gates "fears for her life."

The night she died, Gates dialed 911 about midnight and reported that Ridley was yelling threats outside her window, but when police arrived, they could not find him. At 12:19 a.m., Gates called the marshal, identified in the affidavit as Inspector Robert Hoffmaster, who went to the scene at 1:25 a.m. and called Gates from his car two minutes later.

After the conversation ended with Gates screaming, Hoffmaster called for police backup. He told investigators that he stayed in his car until police arrived. They had trouble entering the building but eventually roused a tenant who let them in. Police found Gates on the third floor.

She was taken to Prince George's Hospital Center, where she was pronounced dead at 2:20 a.m. Ridley was found hiding in a cabinet in a basement apartment. He scuffled briefly with officers, and a Taser was used to subdue him, police said.

Ridley faces a preliminary hearing Dec. 8. He also is scheduled for a preliminary hearing today for his halfway house escape. Prosecutors said he was scheduled for sentencing in the arson case in December.
----------------------------------
This is beyond sad. A law enforcement officer is sitting outside and does nothing? A law enforcement officer with the power to save her life did absolutely nothing. Why didn't he charge in and stop him? Was he low on donut power? I have absolutely no sympathy and no respect for this particular officer in the light of what has happened. My heart does go out to the family of Tiffany Gates, however.

While we're at it, I have the perfect solution to this:
FIRE THE DEPUTY AND CHARGE HIM WITH OBSTRUCTION.

And while we're at it, make him Ridley's bitch...I mean cellmate.

End Transmission.

This past weekend in DC

So this past weekend I was in Washington DC to participate in the Fannie Mae Help the Homeless walk-a-thon, and to see my baby. The walk-a-thon was very good; we had a very large turnout and it felt good knowing that all the monies raised go directly to help the homeless. It all started on Friday night by helping to unload all of the t-shirts and setting up the tents on the National Mall....at 7:30pm at night. In 30 degree weather. They did, however, give out hand warmers to slip into our gloves, and baaaaaby those suckers worked! I had to take mine OUT because I was afraid it would burn my hand!

After the setup, Chris and I went to The Fireplace as I said in my last entry. The funny thing is that after having a Jager drink (not a shot) and a Corona chaser, I was a little bubbly, and after running into my buddy Ryan, the three of us had a total blast. This guy was standing across from us and kept flirting with me, so I got up and went over to him. We talked for a few minutes and I let him down easy. It turned out OK though, and he appreciated my honesty. Then Chris and I went back to the hotel.

Saturday morning we did the Help the Homeless walkathon. It was about 29 degrees when we started walking, and we had to walk around the Tidal Basin (the Jefferson Memorial), where the wind was wicked! Then after the walk we got something to eat, went and picked up my rental car and headed to dinner. I invited the guy (whom we'll call Tom) to dinner with us, and we had a good time. Then we went to Starbucks and had coffee, and went to Omega DC for a late evening cocktail. All in all we had a good time.

Now for my vices.

Washington DC has turned into "stick boy country". All the boys out there are anorexic and they think it's cute. It's NOT. I would break them in two if anything jumped off; that's how skinny they are. Size 26 jeans are NOT cute when you're an adult. And while I'm on the subject, there were two stick boys that took a cab to Arundel Mills mall. TAKING A CAB TO A MALL - interesting. Here's a pic of the two stick boys...sorry that it's so far away; I was in the car.

See how skinny they are?

Oh but it gets better. Keep in mind that it was FREEZING in DC this past weekend...walking down F street, look at what I saw:

I'm not going to even go there.

Finally, the hotel that we stayed at, the JW Marriott, they need help. When I checked in, I opted to pay cash because I didn't want to have $600+ dollars placed on hold for up to ten days. When I tried to pay cash at the front desk and explained about the frequent holds, the clerk, a Chinese male, said "you used a debit card instead of a credit card". Then he proceeds to tell me that they still need a credit card ANYWAY....WTF? Why are you attempting to force me to use a credit card instead of me paying with cash? Needless to say that after talking with the front desk manager, I got one night free.

End Transmission.

Another Dipshit.....and I'm heading to DC

Well let me start by saying that black men in the City of Chicago are full of shit, once again. You can't even be friends with them. I was supposed to hang with yet another associate this evening who told me he'd be at my place by 7:00pm. Well he calls AT 7:30 telling me he'd be at my place by 9:15pm because he decided to go to the north side. This is a work night and you want to disrespect me twice - once by not calling until after the fact and then by coming over knowing I have to go to bed? Sorry Charles, it won't ever happen again.

So this weekend I'll be in Washington, DC participating in the Help the Homeless walk-a-thon, which is a walk that my company puts on every year to raise money for different homeless shelters and initiatives. I'm really excited to go...even if it will only be 40 degrees there this weekend. Ah, that's what restaurants and bars are there for. I am really anticipating going to Annie's Steakhouse in Dupont Circle, and then spending some time at an old friend, The Fireplace.

If you've ever been to DC and are a member of the "extended family", you should know all about the Fireplace. It's a two-story bar where (mostly) white guys hang out on the first floor and (mostly) black guys hang out on the second floor. It's also a place where individuals beg for drinks, try to pick you up, flirt and socialize. I call it comedy hour. Hell, the last time I was there this younger white guy tried so hard to get my attention and to pick me up, and after a while it started getting a bit....irritating. So after identifying Chris, he seemed to back off...but that lasted all of five minutes. He got the message...eventually. Then, why did I make the mistake of going to the bathroom? All I'll say is that peeping toms run amuk at the Fireplace.

All in all it should be an interesting weekend, and I'll report back on my findings after the weekend.

End Transmission.

Do What You Say You're Going To Do!

We've heard that phrase many times before. Individuals that fail to do what they say they are going to do without calling, sending an e-mail, text message, carrier pidgeon, anything. When this happens it usually leaves you either in a lurch or with no plan B.

Well let me tell you about an individual named Chuck Gresham (I've altered his name, SLIGHTLY). About three days ago we made plans to kick it this morning/afternoon, and then he would ride with me to get my rental car, hang out with me at a club that evening and possibly go to church the following morning. We were supposed to speak last night (Friday) to talk about what we wanted to do and to set a time, but no call took place. I called him, he didn't answer. Sent a text, no response. I figured he went out and that he would call in the morning.

WRONG!

Same scenario. No call, no text, nothing.

It only takes TEN SECONDS to send a text message saying that you're either busy, something came up, or what-have-you. I'm sure you can get off of the dick for TEN SECONDS to cancel your other plans, right?
To leave someone in the lurch like that shows that you have no respect for that person, and that you're not worthy of my time and presence---like most black gay men here in Chicago.

Only difference is, I have a Plan B.

End Transmission.

Everybody Doesn't Want You!

Last night as I was en route to Boystown, this guy gets on the train at North/Clybourn on the Red Line. He is very obviously "in the family" and really draws attention to himself. Around Fullerton I try saying "what's up" to this child and he scrawls his face up and says something under his breath in an attempt to "play hard". Below you will find a picture of this child that I took with my BlackBerry (aren't they the best devices?)

First of all, it's EIGHT AT NIGHT, WE'RE IN A DARK TUNNEL AND YOU'RE WEARING DARK SUNGLASSES. WTF????

Secondly, ALL I WAS DOING WAS SPEAKING, NOT TRYING TO SLEEP WITH YOU. You are DEFINITELY NOT MY TYPE. I like MEN, NOT prissy queens.

You up here on the Red Line trying to look cool and you looking like some flaming fool trying to play hard knowing that you been around the block more times than the Red Line train you're riding. (You probably are very good at riding, by the way.)

Rule of thumb: Everybody that speaks to you doesn't want to sleep with you, doesn't want to take you out, and definitely doesn't want to be around you.

End Transmission.

It's Gonna Be A Jagermeister Day

I guess from the title you can pretty much see how my day has been.

Let us begin with work. There is a new database that we use to enter our weekly reports (which no one likes by the way). The person in charge of all of the reporting, our operations manager in our home office, hosted a conference call with all of the admins today to gauge feedback about the new database. When the call started she asked if anyone wanted to go first.

I couldn't start speaking fast enough.

I told her that my team basically thought it was too cumbersome, information overload, not user friendly, and too time consuming. Again, I'm playing the messenger. Her response was simply to not really listen or "feel" where I (and several other admins) were coming from. It got to a point whereas I felt as if I was just talking to a wall. People starting hanging up. I end up with a minor headache and a desire to have a Jagermeister shot.

And it's just 11:30.

Then, after I did grab some lunch and return, I had two more phone calls to return before I could EAT the lunch (McDonald's). Those calls took another hour. So it's now 1:45 and I'm just sitting down to eat....keep in mind that I got the food at about 12:30.

Finally, another realization sank in. Andre, this, uh....individual, yeah that's the word I'll use....that I used to socialize with, stopped by my house a few evenings ago. We talked, had a cocktail and got caught up. (We hadn't seen each other in a few months.) I guess I should've seen it coming when the conversation went this way:

Andre: So I was talking with (name withheld) a couple of months ago and he brought up your status.
Tim: What status are you talking about? (Plays stupid)
Andre: You know what I'm talking about.
Tim: If I knew what you were talking about I wouldn't have asked. It also would mean that I can read your mind and guess this week's lottery numbers.
Andre: Your HIV status - are you positive or not?
Tim: Yes, I'm positive.
Andre: Why didn't you tell me?
Tim: Uh, we're just hanging out, I didn't know I needed to disclose just to have a cocktail or hang out with you.

Needless to say, when he left I didn't expect to hear from him again. This is holding true. I have not heard from Andre since that night. I guess that not only living with the virus but being open about it will bring all of the ignorant people out of the woodwork that want a quick piece of you, and then will run away. To be perfectly honest, those are the miserable people out there, not me.

Oh, before I go, if you are a fan of my blog (thank you!!!) and are in the DC area, I will be visiting next weekend (the weekend of the 21-23rd). Drop me an e-mail and maybe we can go out for drinks or something.

End Transmission.

And Another Week Begins

And so we arrive at yet another Monday. This weekend wasn't too bad.

One of the highlights was going to a private shopping event last night at Best Buy. I got to see some of the sales ahead of time and picked up a few items, especially the new John Legend CD. If you haven't bought it or heard it yet, definitely go out and get it! This is one of the best CDs I've heard in a long time; so good in fact that I downloaded several of the tracks to my BlackBerry for the journey to and from work on the Metra, and bought the other two CDs that he's made (i'm picking them up after work).

This upcoming week will hopefully be uneventful, with tomorrow being a holiday and me having an off-day (YES!!!), then making preparations to head into DC next weekend for the Help the Homeless walk-a-thon; Chris coming to Chicago for Thanksgiving, and my homeboy Reggie coming up to Chicago and kicking it with me for his birthday in December. All in all it will be busy, but a fun type of busy, ya know? In fact, one of my co-workers put it this way: we're only working 8 more days this month. Sweet, huh?

The joys of working for a government-sponsored enterprise.

End Transmission.

Made It Through Another Week!

Well, made it through a very long week. Lots of stuff went down at work, and with the economy the way it is, it's gonna be a long road until January 20.

For starters, I've been trying to secure ANY TYPE of accomodations in DC for the inauguration. I've even tried pulling in favors. The end result? Unless I have $1,000 for a hotel I can forget it. Well, guess I'll have to go to Plan B. Then, the whole ticket debacle. There's 240,000 tickets going to be distributed, so I faxed a letter to my Congressman today hoping to stake a place in line to get at least one ticket. I'll keep you posted.

Then, to show you how long this week has been, one of the SVPs at my job sent out an email inviting everyone down to her office for a "pick me up". The end result? Chocolate + Liquor = A Good End To The Day.

Finally, and probably the highlight, tomorrow I'll be meeting one of my fellow bloggers and actually spending the weekend chilling with him. Jack has been following me for a while and we've finally decided to sit down and meet in person. I'm excited to meet him. You can check out his blog by going here.

Enjoy your weekend and be safe.

End Transmission.

The Morning After

Need we say more?

End Transmission.

PRESIDENT OBAMA!!!!!

THE PUBLIC HAS SPOKEN!
CONGRATS TO PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!!!

And now the crazy people begin firing their guns, as the Police are now running all over the place attempting to keep the peace as I'm hearing on the scanner. 69th and Honore, Troop Street, 59th and Princeton and others - all in the 7th District. Even shots are now being fired in the projects and in Hyde Park - OF ALL PLACES (918 East Hyde Park and 52nd/53rd and Harper). The more stupid acts are prevalent on the West Side of Chicago - all up and down Chicago Avenue. Stupid niggas are taking this historic moment and marring it by shooting, attempting to loot and pilfer.
PLEASE, PLEASE, WE BEG YOU, DON'T DO THIS.

End Transmission.

This Is It! Time To Vote!!!

I voted, did you? If you didn't, get up and vote TODAY!

Time is running short and it's time to give the wheel a final spin! We'll ask you for your vote and you have until the polls close to solve. McCain (vowels) worth nothing, Obama (consonants) worth the Presidency!

If I spelled consonants wrong, blame the coffee not kicking in yet.

End Transmission.

VOTE!!!!!

I cannot stress this enough - if you have not voted early in your state, PLEASE VOTE TOMORROW. This election is too important not to exercise your right to be heard!

End Transmission.

Jennifer Hudson's Nephew Found

The story as published in today's Chicago Tribune Online. My comments will follow:

A child's body was found in the vehicle police were looking for in their search for 7-year-old Julian King, the missing nephew of Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Hudson. The 1994 white Chevrolet Suburban with Illinois license plate X584859 was found in the 1300 block of South Kolin Avenue around 8 a.m. Live TV shots showed a white Chevrolet Suburban being towed away. The Cook County medical examiner's office has sent investigators to the scene and said the body of a black boy was found inside, an office spokesman said. The child had not been identified. A Chicago police spokesman released no information about the discovery.
Julian was reported missing and an Amber Alert was issued Friday after his grandmother and uncle were found shot to death inside the family's home in the 7000 block of South Yale Avenue. Chicago police have interviewed William Balfour, 27, the estranged husband of the boy's mother, Julia Hudson. He was initially described by police as a suspect in the investigation. Balfour has denied involvement in the killings or the disappearance of the boy, law-enforcement sources said. But at some point, Balfour stopped talking to authorities, sources told the Tribune. On Sunday morning, Balfour was transferred to a state facility after officials said he violated conditions of parole for a 1999 conviction for attempted murder. On Sunday, Illinois Department of Corrections spokeswoman Januari Smith said Balfour violated his parole because he is a suspect in the slayings and the boy's disappearance. According to law-enforcement sources, Balfour's alibi the day of the killings has been contradicted by his girlfriend. Balfour was arrested at the woman's Southwest Side home Friday night. Balfour and Julia Hudson had been separated for some time, his family members said. A family friend said Balfour recently had threatened to take Julian away.
A family member of the girlfriend's said police have interviewed her. Police also tracked Balfour's whereabouts Friday through his cell phone, sources said. Also on Sunday, Jennifer Hudson, who gained stardom after appearing on "American Idol," and then won an Academy Award for the movie "Dreamgirls," offered a $100,000 reward for the return of her nephew.
Dan Blake and Noreen S. Ahmed-Ullah, Chicago Tribune

Now here's what I think. I think that Balfour did it. I know it's quick to rush to judgement, but his record and the contradition of his alibi pretty much speak loud and clear. (Update: Chicago Police report that they tracked Balfour's whereabouts on Friday through his cell phone. Dumb ass, didn't you think that you can be tracked through your cell phone? GPS is a b****, isn't it?) And I'm not a violent person, but "an eye for an eye" seems pretty reasonable right about now. Yes, put the needle in his arm - or better yet, do we still have the electric chair?

My heart and prayers go out to the Hudson family - especially since I went to high school with Jennifer's sister, Julia.

End Transmission.

What Does My Status Have To Do With Being A Friend?

Well the stupidity wheel has been spun again.

Remember back in August when I attended the B Poz Event? Well I'm experiencing fallout from that. Let me explain.

There were several photographers at the event, snapping pictures. While I was talking to this guy, one of the photographers saw us and asked if he could take our picture. We said "sure" and he did. Little did I know that this was a photographer from the Chicago GoGuide and that one picture would cause so much controversy.



Last Friday I was hanging out at Little Jim's, this hole-in-the-wall bar in Boystown. (I go there because I know one of the bartenders and for the cheap alcohol.) This white boy was there with his friends and we struck up a conversation. He was depressed and I tried to cheer him up because his friends weren't helping (or so I thought). We exchanged numbers and I left. The next day, he sends a text and I offer to meet him for coffee at Starbucks. He replies back "I was hoping for something more private". Seeing that he just wants some black dick (and yes I did mention Chris), I told him to pretty much fuck off. Then he starts getting a little crazy with the text messages so I just ignore him. Sunday rolls around and he texts back apologizing. I figure I'd give him a second chance and we hang out. Monday rolls around and he starts REALLY showing how crazy he is by saying he saw my photo in this magazine and that he's gonna call the cops because I should've told him I was poz and all of this. First of all BUT WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! WE JUST HUNG OUT! Secondly, what does my status have to do with Starbucks? NOTHING! I told him to go ahead and that the cops would arrest him for wasting their time, that the only proof he had of anything was a photo of me at an event, which means absolutely nothing! So, I changed my number, thus cutting him off from me forever.

But wait! The stupidity wheel doesn't stop spinning there!

This individual named Drew (I'm naming names so you know he's really irked me) that works in downtown Chicago and I were getting to know each other. We went out to lunch at Water Tower one afternoon and everything seemed to be going well. Went back to my house and chilled out and watched a movie, again, things going really well. Then he hits me up talking about he can't give me all that I want right now and that this isn't going to work out. Suddenly. Out of the blue. So I sent him a message back saying that I'm fairly certain that my status has everything to do with your decision and to have a nice life. I then blocked him at the firewall (love that BlackBerry firewall).

And finally, the one that takes the cake - Carlos. We met on the same night as the crazy white boy. We were all set to hang out for coffee when I told him my status. Then suddenly he wants to POSTPONE us hanging out until....get this....he gets HIS results back the next day! So I told him that his answer was obviously a cop-out and that he has an issue with my status and to have a nice life.

What the fuck does my status have to do with being someone to hang out with? Are you afraid that if I sit next to you the virus will jump off of me and land on you? Are you that ignorant? And by the way, I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU. I could go back through my blog and see the number of people that have shown me how ignorant, stupid, and down right fucked up they are. People say I should try to get out there and make more friends, well I try to and this is what happens.

End Transmission.

Video Blog Entry #2 - Politics, Last Wknd in DC, and other stuff

Video Blog Entry

The Cruise, Good News, And Why I've Been Gone So Long....

OK....go ahead and beat me up, I know it's been almost a month since I've posted, but I have good reasons for it. After you read this entry you'll truly understand.

Let's start with what happened on the cruise about two weeks ago....

We sailed on the Enchantment of the Seas, which had its good moments and it's not so good moments. Let me start with the good. The ship was very nice in terms of appearance and activities. It doesn't really show any signs of wear, even though it is a slightly older ship. Most of the staff were wonderful and the ports of call (Key West and Cozumel) were cool too - especially Cozumel! Take my advice and if you're ever there, go to 1/2 Senor Frogs at the pier...you WILL be tore up (as Chris and I both were). All in all a good time was had by us. We gambled in the casino (Chris won a little bit as did I but I gambled most of it back), I climbed the rock climbing wall (made it halfway up), and we ate...and drank....and ate some more....and drank a lot more......

Now for the bad. We sailed with a group of 5 women (3 from my church and two of their guests). One of the participants kept up a lot of mess, even going as far as ruining everyone's vacation with their screwed up attitude, speaking down to people and acting as if they knew everything. Nobody wanted to really be around her, even her cabinmate who is a Deacon of the church. We all came very close to putting her in her place on more than one occasion. While we were in Cozumel, Chris and I had pretty much had enough of the female-drama and wanted to stay at 1/2 Senor Frogs. She pretty much dragged everyone into a cab and they all went downtown. From what I'm told she pretty much left everyone down with the "I-been-here-before-and-I-know-where-I'm-going" line. Quiet as it's kept she was the last one back on the ship from our group. To take it a step further, I nearly got put off the ship because she got in my face on the pool deck, cussed me out and called me a fag in front of everybody. It took Chris and another group member to physically restrain me, because I was truly out for blood. Later that evening I was in tears, and it took one of the Deacons that came with us and Chris to pretty much calm me down and put me to bed. But this is the same person that guzzled down the champagne I bought for everyone on Friday night. Interesting. Needless to say, she is on the same usher board as me at the same church that I attend. To prevent an incident, I elected to take a leave of absence from the usher board (initially I resigned, but the president of the board persuaded me to take a leave).

The interesting. Immediately after the incident, I went back to the cabin for a little while with Chris. I then left and went to the cyberlounge to send an e-mail to the usher board president resigning. Then I went to the Latin lounge onboard and had not one...not two...but three long island ice teas. This black guy that was flirting with me since we got on the ship was there....with his boyfriend, or as he put it (in the guy's face), his "friend-with-benefits". (Note...what the hell is a friend with benefits?) He tried every line in the book to pretty much sleep with me, and I wasn't buying it. After I told him that I was engaged, and to whom I was engaged to, he said "what would happen if I tried to screw him?" I told him "I would try to take your head off." His boyfriend, obviously pissed off, told me that it was nice meeting me and to have a good evening. Negro, if you're still with him after that, then you're as dumb as a doornail.

And now for the better. Friday, September 26 all of us were in the nightclub aboard the ship. I pulled Chris and one of my group members out to the aft pool deck. It was approaching midnight, the seas were calm and it was simply a beautiful evening. I took Chris by both hands and told him how much I cared for him and wanted to be with him. Then I got down on one knee and proposed. HE SAID YES!!!!! (That's where the bottle of champagne, mentioned above, came from.)

We pretty much have been making preparations for the ceremony since then. The announcements have been printed, the next two cruises have been booked (one over Valentine's Day weekend, the other over the Thanksgiving holiday), and I'll be going down to DC this weekend to spend time with Chris and to talk some more about the upcoming cruises and our impending ceremony.

More To Come.
End Transmission.

Murder For An XBox?

Kids at 14 and 15 are murdering folks for what, an Xbox? Something is seriously wrong with this picture. And now their lives are pretty much ruined because in Wisconsin a convinction for first degree murder carries a mandatory life sentence.

The news story, found here, says that they were "emotionless".

Damn.

End Transmission.

Back From San Francisco

Hello all! Yes, I am back from San Francisco! Had to go there for a few days for work, and boy let me tell you, I'm glad to be home.

San Francisco, albet it be a pretty city, it is not conducive to black gay people (or black people at all). While in the Castro (gay) district, I counted FOUR (yes, FOUR) black people on Sunday night. And these weren't ordinary black gay people - they were, shall I say, snow queens? (For those that don't know what my definition of a snow queen is, it is a black person that tries to act white.) They didn't want to look at another black person, let alone talk to one. And obviously I didn't know where to go in terms of the hot spots. (Come to find out from a friend that I shouldn't went to this place called Bar....but I didn't make it that far.)

Maybe I should've went to Oakland?

Well, when the meetings finally started on Monday we hopped on a bus and toured the Hunters/Bayview housing complexes. I hate to say it, but the Chicago Housing Authority ain't got nothing on SFHA - and I don't mean that in a nice way either. We saw crumbling housing, places that should've been demolished long ago, and of course, your typical ignorant wanna-be thug hanging on the corner with his boys instead of doing something positive (ever heard of an education or a job?)

In other words, I don't think I'll be going back to San Francisco anytime soon. Now, the next time I make it to the West Coast, I think I'll go to Los Angeles.

Photos will be on my Flickr homepage soon.

End Transmission.

September 11, 2008

May we never forget.

CPS Boycott

This is by far the craziest and stupidest thing I have ever witnessed. Let me explain why I say that.

According to a statement on New Trier's website, even if Chicago Public School students attempted to enroll, they are not eligible for admission because of the residency requirement.

So basically, we're pulling our kids out of school on the most important day of the year for what?

The brainchild of this boycott, James Meeks, who calls himself a Reverend and a state lawmaker, knew about the requirement and the ineligibility, but pushed for the boycott anyway. He is nothing more than a stupid individual at this point. And let's not forget that Bishop Larry Trotter of the Sweet Holy MB Church is onboard with this too. I've respected Trotter's position but not Trotter personally.

You all call yourselves men of the cloth but yet you're acting like street thugs, playing the "my-dick-is-bigger-than-your-dick" game. Just like Springfield.

I have said it before and I will say it again: The kids NEED TO BE IN SCHOOL TODAY AND EVERY DAY. I completely understand the meaning of the boycott, but the logic is all wrong. We CANNOT EVER USE OUR CHILDREN AS PAWNS because the ADULTS CAN'T GET THEIR ACTS TOGETHER.

I have lost all respect for Meeks and Trotter in the light of this.

End Transmission.

Another Red Line Crazy Story

Last night I attended the B Poz 8 affair at Circuit. It was a really nice event, and I look forward to the next one. I'll tell all about it in a seperate entry.

Coming home on the Red Line I saw something that was at first, ignorant, and then it turned out to be very...interesting. Check out the photos:

Yes, you guessed it, someone knocked out and taking up TWO seats on an already crowded Red Line train! (The Cubs game had just let out.) What you probably cannot see is that his foot is on someone's back! The guy turned around, looked shocked and pushed the guy off of him, and the sleeper complied, but pretty much stayed in the two seats.

Then, this happened:

Yes, he falls out of the seat, does a semi-somersault, and just lies there. Doesn't budge. Doesn't move. Doesn't wake up. Nothing. It took two Cubs fans to help him back onto the seat, at which point he does what? Continues to sleep.

Ah yes, the story of what happens when you're high as a kite and drunk as a skunk with no place to go.

End Transmission.

B Poz Event

So last night I attended the B Poz Tonight 8 affair at Circuit Nightclub here in Chicago, which was sponsored by Northstar Healthcare. It was a fun event full of dancing, singing and -- of course -- drinking. Miss Foozie and Tajma Hall hosted the event, and it was full of ordinary folks socializing, sniffing and being stand-offish (which unfortunately is a trait in the gay community, but I won't go there).

Three memorable take-aways from this event:

3. Circuit had drink tickets all night long. You received two at the door, and people were walking around handing out free drink tickets all night. You could easily get VERY messed up as the drinks were (as they always are) RIGHT ON POINT. I think I left with 4 drink tickets as I just couldn't drink any more.

2. It was good to see everyone coming together, even if some people entered the room with the typical "I'm-here-with-my-man-and-we're-better-than-you" syndrome or the "I'm-too-good-for-you-because-I'm-a-waiter" type of deal. To some people it was Roscoe's - stand-and-model. However there were some people that were honestly there to mingle and have a good time, which made the event a good one.

And the #1 take-away for me:
I was conversing with a 24 year old from North Chicago who had a real bad touchy-feely problem. 5 seconds after we start talking he had his hands all over me and was trying to kiss me. Needless to say, I had to get away quickly, so I went to the restroom. So as I'm coming back from the restroom I ran into a 40+ year old that has been positive for 20+ years and was feeling down. He mentioned that he doesn't go out of the house at all to do anything, and that his doctor pretty much strong-armed him to come out. In our conversation I told him that it wasn't good for him to waste away in the house all the time, and that he needed to get out and do different things, travel, meet new people, because life will pretty much pass him by and life, especially in our condition, is precious. Our conversation got so deep on that level that he ended up giving me a hug and looked like he was about to break out in tears. It looked like he really needed one. He promised to take my advise and to get out more.
However, the 24 year old saw all of this and thought that this person was "honing in", so he decided to rudely interrupt the conversation, start putting his arms around me (again) and get REAL close to me, until I had to dismiss him (in a nice way). The 49 year old thought he was my boyfriend, until I had to correct him. Needless to say the 24 year old didn't see me for the rest of the night, and I left with the satisfaction of helping someone. (No I didn't take him home.)

End Transmission.

The 800 Pound Gorilla In The Room

Ever been in a situation where there was an 800 pound gorilla in the room?

That's what I'm going through right now. (See yesterday's entry.) The problem is, I'm trying to solve the problem and get the gorilla out of the room, and so are the other individuals. But there is one person that wants to continue to avoid the issue.

Chris.

Keep in mind that there is a cruise coming up in less than 30 days that ALL OF US ARE GOING TO BE ON.

To avoid any drama onboard the ship, we thought it would be a good idea to sit down and talk about what happened, vent, get it over with, and move on. Rather it happen here on land than in the middle of the ocean, right?

Guess our thinking is flawed.

Addendum: All three of us finally talked. Chris wants space. Fine, he shall get as much space as he wants. I'm leaving him alone and going on with the rest of my life.

End Transmission.

The Destruction Of Two Relationships

I have effectively destroyed two relationships.

About two weeks ago, two of Chris' friends that are a couple began flirting with me, individually. Neither knew what the other was doing. Messages were exchanged, and it got to a point whereas we started having very hot discussions. At NO time was there any physical contact; it was all verbal and via text - a "fantasy world" if you will.

Then I heard yesterday's church sermon. Pastor Moss spoke on relationships. He spoke on how individuals do not have to lie to be in a relationship, and then it hit me: I was one of those individuals that was living a big lie by not being more upfront and honest with Chris.

So what did I do?
I called both persons individually and told them that what we were doing had to stop. Neither took it very well (and one half of the couple even went as far as suggesting that they (the couple) keep to themselves while on the cruise (and as such I moved them down one deck), and that after the cruise I disappear).

Then I told Chris. Needless to say he's hurting very much, and I quite possibly have effectively ended our relationship by telling him the truth.

So what do I do?

End Transmission.

CPS Students Boycott First Day????

Certain ministers in the City of Chicago that are fed up with the lack of funding for Chicago schools are suggesting that students boycott the first day of class.

What in the fuck are these people thinking???

I understand and agree with the fact that Chicago Public Schools are seriously underfunded and that the individuals in Springfield need to stop playing the "my-dick-is-bigger-than-your-dick" game.

But BOYCOTTING SCHOOL? That is absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

Wanna-be ministers (including the wanna-be minister of the House of Hope in Chicago) need to sit down and shut the hell up if they think this wil solve anything. Do they not realize that the lower percentage of students in school on the first day, the lower the amount of money that Chicago schools get?

I guess not, because they're trying to compensate for something that they do not have.

End Transmission.

Miserable Homosexuals

Last night Chris called me, after I and a buddy hadn't heard from him and were concerned. We (or at least I) had a right ot be concerned.

He got a call from one of his friends that I find to be miserable and pathetic, stating that I tried to hit on him and suggest that I would sleep with him while I was in New York with Chris last month. He claims to have text messages from me stating this fact.

Now that we've heard the lies, here's the truth.

For starters, I would NEVER do that. That is beyond tacky and slutty. That's just nasty. To sleep with one of his friends (or anyone else period) is not me. Yes, I told his friend that he was attractive, but that's just passing a compliment. Telling someone that they are attractive is not the same as saying that you want to sleep with them.

Secondly, any text messages that this child has are probably doctored (forged). That's just not me.

I was so upset last night at what I heard, that I cried myself to sleep. Can you be so miserable with your life that you want to destroy a good thing? Are you that upset that you're not going on my cruise next month that you're trying to destroy that? Are you so jealous that we're working out well that you want to destroy it?

He's lucky that I don't have enough credit on my credit card right now to get to DC, otherwise there would be words. But I have made plans to drive to DC next weekend.

Y'all tell me - should I go to DC next weekend?

End Transmission.

Beggers (and people looking for a handout)

If you work in any major city, you always see them.

People asking if you "have any spare change".

They have been around since the beginning of time. A begger is even mentioned in the Bible (he gets healed by Jesus, but that's another topic for another time). Now I have no problem with individuals asking for spare change (most times I don't have any because I try not to carry cash), but what I do have a problem with is individuals on the street begging with their children. Some people say it's a sympathy tactic; I say it's sending the wrong message to the kids. Now I am not speaking of those individuals that are in shelters with their kids; that's one thing. I am speaking to those individuals that have a place to stay but are out "trying to hustle some money".

Why aren't the kids in school? Day care? Camp? What you do is your business, but as a responsible parent (sorry, some parents just aren't responsible), you need to try and make your kid grow up to be better than you are. And having them stand on the corner while you beg for change isn't giving them the tools to be better than you are.

It's giving them the tools to become part of the system when DCFS finds out what you're doing.

End Transmission.

Focusing On Self

I've decided to focus almost entirely on myself. After being completely sent off by someone who wanted to be in my life, I am going to "harden up" and just focus 99% on self.

Conceited? Maybe. But this is the way it has to be. Let me tell you what happened and you can gauge for yourself.

Me and this person named Eric were supposed to hang out yesterday. After they told me initially that they had to pick up their mother at 5, then changed it to 7, I said that I'd call them about 6:30 to get confirmation. They said "cool". So I called. Their cell phone went to voicemail (but they were on it; you hear a beep when they are on the phone) and I left a message and called the house phone. No response. So I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally at about 9:45 I called again. No response on either line. So after having an evening ruined by waiting around for a no-show, I checked my e-mail and text messages. Nothing.

Now I could call him all out of his name and talk about him royaly, but instead I'm not going to do that. In a nutshell, by not responding or letting anyone know what's up, I believe you are telling me to fuck off. So I will do just that. But I want to thank you for allowing me to spend a little time with you, and your four-year-old son. I also want to thank you for allowing me to experience a little "fatherhood" if you will.

With that being said, I'm going to delete all of his information now, put my clothes on, and go to the bar.

End Transmission.

First Bernie Mac, Now Isaac Hayes

Isaac Hayes, 'Theme From Shaft' singer and presage of disco and rap, dies at age 65
By Associated Press
6:38 AM CDT, August 11, 2008


MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) _ Isaac Hayes, the baldheaded, baritone-voiced soul crooner who laid the groundwork for disco and whose "Theme From Shaft" won both Academy and Grammy awards, died Sunday afternoon after he collapsed near a treadmill, authorities said. He was 65.

Hayes was pronounced dead at Baptist East Hospital in Memphis an hour after he was found by a family member, the Shelby County Sheriff's Office said. The cause of death was not immediately known.

With his muscular build, shiny head and sunglasses, Hayes cut a striking figure at a time when most of his contemporaries were sporting Afros. His music, which came to be known as urban-contemporary, paved the way for disco as well as romantic crooners like Barry White.

And in his spoken-word introductions and interludes, Hayes was essentially rapping before there was rap. His career hit another high in 1997 when he became the voice of Chef, the sensible school cook and devoted ladies man on the animated TV show "South Park."

"Isaac Hayes embodies everything that's soul music," Collin Stanback, an A&R executive at Stax, told The Associated Press on Sunday. "When you think of soul music you think of Isaac Hayes — the expression ... the sound and the creativity that goes along with it."

Hayes was about to begin work on a new album for Stax, the soul record label he helped build to legendary status. And he had recently finished work on a movie called "Soul Men" in which he played himself, starring Samuel Jackson and Bernie Mac, who died on Saturday.

Steve Shular, a spokesman for the sheriff's office, said authorities received a 911 call after Hayes' wife and young son and his wife's cousin returned home from the grocery store and found him collapsed in a downstairs bedroom. A sheriff's deputy administered CPR until paramedics arrived."The treadmill was running but he was unresponsive lying on the floor," Shular said.

The album "Hot Buttered Soul" made Hayes a star in 1969. His shaven head, gold chains and sunglasses gave him a compelling visual image."Hot Buttered Soul" was groundbreaking in several ways: He sang in a "cool" style unlike the usual histrionics of big-time soul singers. He prefaced the song with "raps," and the numbers ran longer than three minutes with lush arrangements.

"Jocks would play it at night," Hayes recalled in a 1999 Associated Press interview. "They could go to the bathroom, they could get a sandwich, or whatever." Next came "Theme From Shaft," a No. 1 hit in 1971 from the film "Shaft" starring Richard Roundtree."That was like the shot heard round the world," Hayes said in the 1999 interview.

At the Oscar ceremony in 1972, Hayes performed the song wearing an eye-popping amount of gold and received a standing ovation. TV Guide later chose it as No. 18 in its list of television's 25 most memorable moments. He won an Academy Award for the song and was nominated for another one for the score. The song and score also won him two Grammys."The rappers have gone in and created a lot of hit music based upon my influence," he said. "And they'll tell you if you ask."Hayes was elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002."I knew nothing about the business, or trends and things like that," he said. "I think it was a matter of timing. I didn't know what was unfolding."A self-taught musician, he was hired in 1964 by Stax Records of Memphis as a backup pianist, working as a session musician for Otis Redding and others. He also played saxophone.

He began writing songs, establishing a songwriting partnership with David Porter, and in the 1960s they wrote such hits for Sam and Dave as "Hold On, I'm Coming" and "Soul Man."All this led to his recording contract.

In 1972, he won another Grammy for his album "Black Moses" and earned a nickname he reluctantly embraced. Hayes composed film scores for "Tough Guys" and "Truck Turner" besides "Shaft." He also did the song "Two Cool Guys" on the "Beavis and Butt-Head Do America" movie soundtrack in 1996.Additionally, he was the voice of Nickelodeon's "Nick at Nite" and had radio shows in New York City (1996 to 2002) and then in Memphis.

He was in several movies, including "It Could Happen to You" with Nicolas Cage, "Ninth Street" with Martin Sheen, "Reindeer Games" starring Ben Affleck and the blaxploitation parody "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka."In the 1999 interview, Hayes described the South Park cook as "a person that speaks his mind; he's sensitive enough to care for children; he's wise enough to not be put into the 'wack' category like everybody else in town — and he l-o-o-o-o-ves the ladies."But Hayes angrily quit the show in 2006 after an episode mocked his Scientology religion."There is a place in this world for satire," he said. "but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs of others begins."Co-creator creators Matt Stone responded that Hayes "has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians." A subsequent episode of the show seemingly killed off the Chef character.

Hayes was born in 1942 in a tin shack in Covington, Tenn., about 40 miles north of Memphis. He was raised by his maternal grandparents after his mother died and his father took off when he was 1½. The family moved to Memphis when he was 6.Hayes wanted to be a doctor, but got redirected when he won a talent contest in ninth grade by singing Nat King Cole's "Looking Back."He held down various low-paying jobs, including shining shoes on the legendary Beale Street in Memphis. He also played gigs in rural Southern juke joints where at times he had to hit the floor because someone began shooting.

Rest In Peace, My Brotha.

End Transmission.

Bernie Mac Passes Away Today at 50

Bernie Mac dies at 50
Comedian Bernie Mac died this morning in a Chicago hospital
By Kelley L. Carter and Glenn Jeffers Tribune reporters
9:43 AM CDT, August 9, 2008

Comedian and Chicago native Bernie Mac died early Saturday morning from complications due to pneumonia, his publicist confirmed.

Mac, 50, had been hospitalized for about a week at Northwestern Hospital, according to his spokeswoman. A few years ago, Mac disclosed that he suffered from sarcoidosis, a rare autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in tissue, most often in the lungs.

The comic born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough could cut an imposing figure. He stood 6-foot-3, was built like a fullback and carried himself with a bouncer's reticence. But perhaps the strongest weapon in the Chicago comedian's arsenal was that voice, that amalgam of thought and a delivery that could rise like a tidal wave, outpace a Gatling gun and remained, to his last days, loud and unapologetic.He wasn't scared, he told us time and again, to tell anyone what he thought, to say what others were afraid to say. That fearlessness wasn't always welcome, considering Mac didn't get his big break until his 30s. But when he did, the comic skyrocketed to success in stand-up, television and the big screen.

Mac shared screen time with some of Hollywood's larger-than-life leading men, co-starring with Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Matt Damon in the "Ocean's 11" remake and subsequent sequels.

Most recently, Mac garnered attention for making unsavory comments at a Barack Obama benefit that the presumptive Democratic candidate had to distance himself from.

Growing up on the South Side a hard-core White Sox fan, Mac discovered early on that he wanted to make a go at being a comedian.

Before his 10th birthday, Mac was performing comedy standup, honing his skills on CTA trains and parks before graduating to well-known haunts like the Regal Theater and the Cotton Club. He came to a realization during those first years as a struggling comic: If he could kill in front of a black crowd, he could kill in any crowd.

"Black audiences are hard," he told the New York Times in 2002. "You got to come with a little extra to satisfy them."

He also learned that comedy isn't a lucrative business when you are starting out. During those lean years in the '80s, Mac drove a Wonder Bread delivery truck to pay the bills.

Life changed dramatically for Mac when he was 32. He won the Miller Lite comedy search that year and that performance took him to the standup stage, which ultimately led to regular performances on popular shows like HBO's "Def Comedy Jam."

In a few short years, he was able to put a stamp on this tell-it-like-it-is brand of comedy that audiences had come to know him for. He was a hit on the stage, delivering sordid tales of his early life growing up on Chicago's South Side.

His work hit home to the African American audience -- his aggressive, brash comedy had a down home feel to it, tackling everything from family life to black romantic relationships -- yet Mac was able to cross it over, connecting with a majority entertainment scene.

"When I started in comedy in the clubs in 1977, blacks couldn't do certain clubs -- not because they were segregated. They just didn't want to put the [black comics] out there. In Los Angeles, the clubs would have a black night. People would say, 'Why don't you come by and do something?' I would say, 'I'm a comedian -- don't put a title on me.' Don't limit yourself. How you start is how you finish," he told the Tribune in 2007. "If you let people put tags on you, you'll never be able to remove them. You've got to make people respect you. Respect is bigger than dollars and cents."

Mac got his respect and he gained national attention after his set on HBO's popular late-night series Def Comedy Jam in 1992. Decked out in a pair of jeans with his face illustrated, graffiti-style, on the right pants leg, Mac expounded on one taboo subject after another, from the benefits of snitching to his prowess in the bedroom.

"I ain't scared of you [expletive]!" became his signature tagline.

Many took note of the blue comic's performance, which later led to a bit part in 1992's "Mo' Money," and later an HBO Special, "Midnight Mac."

In 1995, Mac earned a spot in the cult-classic "Friday," and the film helped Mac break out. His portrayal of Pastor Clever was one of the film's highlights, however small it was. He followed it up with bit roles in other films, including "Booty Call," and "Def Jam's: How to Be a Player."

But he wanted more. Mac sowed the seeds for his success on a cloudy day in North Carolina while taping the 2000 Spike Lee concert film, "The Original Kings of Comedy." There, on a rain-soaked basketball court, buttressed by co-stars Cedric the Entertainer, D.L. Hughley and Steve Harvey, Mac issued a challenge to Hollywood:

"Do I have a television show? Nah," Mac told the cameras. "Why? 'Cause you scared of me, Scared I'm a say something. You [expletive] right. Think I won't say something?!"

A year later, Mac got his chance. "The Bernie Mac Show" debuted on Fox in November 2001, drawing critical acclaim, numerous awards, including two Emmy nominations for Mac and, most important, high ratings. Its premiere episode drew 11.4 million viewers. The second episode, which immediately followed the first, drew 12.4 million.

For the next four years, Mac spoke to the American public--via a break in the fourth wall a la Dobie Gillis--with all the befuddlement of a 40-something taskmaster father lost in a sea of talk therapy and "timeouts." "Now, America," Mac would often begin before going into a rant about undisciplined children, cuddling parents or, one of his favorite topics, the differences between black and white people.

But in 2005, the show went off the air. Several reasons contributed to cancellation: The show's ratings had dropped, Mac was getting more lucrative offers from the movie studios. Before the 2000 concert film, Mac's biggest credit was a recurring role on "Moesha."

But Mac's health was also a factor. In 2004, he halted production on the show while recovering from exhaustion. A year later, he disclosed that he suffered from sarcoidosis, a rare autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in tissue, most often in the lungs.

In spite of that, his star had risen a great deal. In addition to the highly popular "Oceans" films, he co-starred with Ashton Kutcher in a reverse remake of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" in 2005.

Last spring, Mac said that he was hanging up his standup career, and instead would focus more on movies. In 2007, he co-starred in "Ocean's Thirteen," "Pride" and had a role in the blockbuster "Transformers."

Scheduled for release is "Soul Men," with Samuel L. Jackson, which will be released this year, and "Old Dogs," with Robin Williams, which is due next year.

Mac is survived by his wife Rhonda McCullough, their daughter, Je'Niece, a son-in-law and a granddaughter, Jasmine.

Rest In Peace, Bernie Mac.

End Transmission.

Screw You US Cellular - I'm Done!

And the saga with US Fuckular.....I mean Cellular.....continues.

I received an e-mail from then today in regards to my situation with them regarding the credits. Check it out, and then read my response below:

Dear Timothy,


Thank you for contacting our Online Customer Care Department. We apologize any frustration we have caused. Per your billing statement and account records, we show that you paid $76.12, $123.46, and $16.48 to U.S. Cellular(r) on 8/1/08. At the time that these payments were made your balance from your July statement was $76.12. Therefore your payment of $76.12 took care of your overdue balance.

This would leave the other two payments as a credit of $139.94. The accessory purchased was $14.95 plus $1.53 tax. Keep in mind, the equipment you purchased was actually $199.95. On your August statement, we charged you for the equipment purchase of $199.95 but then refunded the same amount when the equipment was returned. (pg 3.) We did the same for the accessory purchase. We charged you for the accessory of $16.48, but then we credited $16.48 for the same accessory. This would leave you with a credit of $123.46.

When you activated the line ending in 1193, we do not show that you actually paid a deposit in the store. The deposit of $100.00 was charged to your account, and shows on your August statement. However, you canceled this same line on 8/5/08, and your August statement shows that we charged the $100.00 deposit to the account, but when the line was canceled we also credited the same $100.00 that was previously charged plus and additional interest of $0.04. This is showing on page 9 of your bill. You have now a total credit of $123.50 on your account.

The total amount due on your bill was for charges that you normally occur, i.e. your monthly plan, text messages, signal insurance, the
BlackBerry(r) services, picture messages and taxes. This total amount on your August statement was $123.35. However, on 8/6/08, we show a credit of $25.00 was applied to your account by one of our U.S. Cellular(r) store representatives. The $25.00 credit, along with the $123.50 was applied to the balance due of $123.35. These credits paid your August bill and left you with the current credit of $25.15.

In conclusion, we understand that you were mislead in thinking that a check would be sent to you. Unfortunately, whenever there is a current balance on the account, any payments that you have made will impact your current U.S. Cellular(r) balance. We apologize if this was not explained. We sincerely hope that you understand the way your billing and credits were applied to your account.

Should you have additional questions or concerns please feel free to contact our Customer Service Department at 888-944-9400 or 611 from your cell phone. If you prefer, you may also submit your question/concern via our website at https://www.uscc.com/uscellular/SilverStream/Pages/c_custserv.html.

Sincerely,

Katrina T.
Customer Service SpecialistU.S. Cellular(r)

Now, let me tell you why this is utter bullshit. For starters, I DID pay a $100 deposit in the store. It's on the receipt showing as paid. I've been screaming this to them for the longest but they don't want to hear me. Instead of being the professional business that they claim and admitting that they made a mistake, they want to play musical chairs and change explanations every five minutes.

Well I have a solution to the whole mess.

FUCK YOU.

When my contract is up in less than 3 weeks, you can take this phone and your service and shove it up your ass. I will NOT be renewing, and will be telling as many people as I can to RUN LIKE HELL from you, US Cellular! Fucking up and then trying to cover it up with lie after lie and contradiction after contradiction is no way to run a company or to treat a loyal customer that has NOT HAD ONE ISSUE until now.

You ARE the Weakest Link, goodbye!

End Transmission.

Fighting With U.S. Cellular

I'm fighting with US Cellular, my cell phone company. And for good reason. Let me explain.

On August 1, I opened a new line of service and purchased the new LG UX830 phone. I returned it on August 5 - well within the 30 day return policy. I was told at the time of purchase that if I returned it within 30 days, the contract would be cancelled without penalty and that all monies I paid would be refunded in the original form of payment. So I gave them my Mastercard.

Come to find out they decided, unilateraly, to put the credit back on my US Cellular account and not to honor THEIR OWN AGREEMENT.

It gets better though! I also purchased a case for the phone, which was a seperate charge. Guess what? That went back on my US Cellular account too! When I say seperate charge, it's similar to me purchasing the phone, walking out of the store and coming back in an hour later. That charge should have gone back to my Mastercard....but I digress.

I have fought with them for three days over this. Finally, frustrated and convinced that they are not playing fair, I called my card issuer this morning and filed a dispute. I find that having the money in my account is a lot better. Although it's nice to have a credit on an account, give ME the choice of putting all of that money on my account - we're talking over $300 here.

When my contract on my primary line is up in 3 weeks, I'm switching, and taking the number with me. I refuse to continue dealing with a company that won't honor its own agreements. Oh, did I mention that AT&T only wants a $150 deposit and that I can use that phone on the cruise ship next month?

US Crapular...I mean Cellular - good for screwing people.

Anybody want to buy a red Blackberry Pearl next month?

End Transmission.

Vietnam .... or bisexual?

Had a very interesting (well interesting doesn't even describe it) discussion with a guy on the bus this afternoon.

I was on the bus with an associate of mine heading home from a day of shopping when I was testing the GPS function on my new cell phone. He immediately starts talking about how it's not safe to have my cell phone out in certain parts of the city (although I don't think 14th and Indiana isn't one of them), how all a person has to do is take one look at me in my red and white Air Force Ones, red and white polo and shorts and see me as an easy mark. Several times I reminded him that he didn't know me (a polite way of telling him to shut up). This coming from a person who was giving me "the eye" from Randolph/Michigan all the way to Jackson/Michigan when the conversations started.

Then the discussions turned south very fast.

He starts talking about how he was in Vietnam, about how he was trained by the government to kill, how in his mind people "are dead" to him, and then proceeds to start talking about people sitting on toilets taking dumps and how it would be the last time they did - or words to that effect.

We ended up getting off the bus at 25th street.

End Transmission.

What My Problem Really Is.....

Let me give a very public "Thank You" to Darius and to chitownjuvie for "cheering me up" after my last post. Chitownjuvie, send me your e-mail address; leave a comment and I'll e-mail you. Darius, we'll hang out soon, REAL soon.

Now let me delve further into my problem, and tell you my story:

I am a 31 year old black gay man with a nice job, a little money in the bank, and a nice place to live. I've worked very hard to get to where I am now, and continue to work hard to stay where I am. I also am living with the HIV virus (and for all of you yet-to-be-educated individuals out there that are still running to Manscountry and Jackson Park - that's another entry for another time - HIV is NOT AIDS, so please, before you say I have AIDS, get some education.)

I have seen past friends and associates pass away one by one - in fact last year alone I attended (or ushered at) 3 funerals for individuals that I either knew up close and personal or had ties to. This year I have already lost two people. As anyone with the virus can tell you, it ain't no joke. It's no longer a death sentence but it's no joke. I went from 160 pounds ten years ago down to 135 five years ago, and now I'm up to 175 pounds - with the help of exercise, medicine, and the mercy of God, whom I thank every day for sparing me.

When I tell most individuals about my illness (and I DO tell, unlike most people out there), they run. One individual (in this entry, named Don T), even went as far as trying to lead me on, then acting as if he was in shock, continuing to get on his knees to do me (use your imagination), and then told me in a phone conversation that he "couldn't handle it and didn't want to be bothered." Now, keep in mind that I told him BEFORE he "bowed down", sort of speak.

Then there are the ones that can handle it and stick around for a little while - or at least until they get into the bed - or try to get into my bank account. One guy that I disclosed to pretty much asked for money after the conversation as compensation for his time and listening to my story. (I couldn't get him out of my house fast enough, and no I didn't give him any money.)

Because of all of this, I have serious trust issues. I don't trust people. I'm always watching my back and keeping the wall up. Now when I tell people (even in casual conversation), I always throw in the line "if you can't handle it, just walk away, I understand" if they have been quiet for more than several seconds. I've been talked about over the years when I didn't know I had it (and I didn't know until a couple of years ago), and will probably be talked about more now that I'm putting it out there. There is only one person out there (besides my mother and God, obviously) that I trust implicity, and that is my straight best friend. I trust him to the point whereas he has keys to my house.

Sidebar: Let me take my last shot at those individuals that will attempt to either talk about me, or use this information against me:
(1) get some education. Most of you are high school dropouts that are either not working or think that spreading your legs is a form of working, but I digress.
(2) living in your mother's basement, sleeping on your friend's couch or "househopping" does not make you better than me or mean you have your own place.
(3) if you have multiple profiles on Adam4Adam, work scams just to try and get to Manscountry week after week, or hang out in Jackson Park (or any other park) each and every day of the week, then you probably have the virus as well. GET TESTED!

Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I feel better. So again, if after reading this entry you have something to say, whether it be good or bad, feel free to leave a comment. I'll publish them all - good and bad.

End Transmission.

Can you feel alone in a crowded room?

Lately I've really been feeling lonely and in some cases depressed because I have come to the realization of three things:

- People only see me as a sex object.
- People don't want to be bothered with me, talk to me or get to know me; in some instances treating me like a leper.
- People only want to be bothered with me when they want to dump on me, try to get me involved in THEIR problems, or want something.

I ask myself, what is wrong with me? Why can't I find a decent group of people here in the city that doesn't fall into one of the three categories above?

Just last night I was having a cocktail with someone under the guise of trying to develop a friendship, and this fucker kept trying to get me back to his spot because as he put it, "the hormones are raging."

I have a lot to offer people in terms of friendship. I just can't find a good friend.

I'm tired. I'm so very tired. And I can't go on this way.

Sophia from The Golden Girls

Estelle Getty, peppery oldster in TV's 'Golden Girls,' dies in Los Angeles at 84
By BOB THOMAS Associated Press Writer
12:59 PM CDT, July 22, 2008
LOS ANGELES (AP) _ Estelle Getty, the diminutive actress who spent 40 years struggling for success before landing a role of a lifetime in 1985 as the sarcastic octogenarian Sophia on TV's "The Golden Girls," has died. She was 84.

Getty, who suffered from advanced dementia, died at about 5:30 a.m. Tuesday at her Hollywood Boulevard home, said her son, Carl Gettleman of Santa Monica."She was loved throughout the world in six continents, and if they loved sitcoms in Antarctica she would have been loved on seven continents," her son said. "She was one of the most talented comedic actresses who ever lived.""The Golden Girls," featuring four female retirees sharing a house in Miami, grew out of NBC programming chief Brandon Tartikoff's belief that television was ignoring its older viewers.

Three of its stars had already appeared in previous series: Bea Arthur in "Maude," Betty White in "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and Rue McClanahan in "Mama's Family." The last character to be cast was Sophia Petrillo, the feisty 80-something mother of Arthur's character.When she auditioned, Getty was appearing on stage in Hollywood as the carping Jewish mother in Harvey Fierstein's play "Torch Song Trilogy." In her early 60s, she flunked her "Golden Girls" test twice because it was believed she didn't look old enough to play 80.

"I could understand that," she told an interviewer a year after the show debuted. "I walk fast, I move fast, I talk fast."She came prepared for the third audition, however, wearing dowdy clothes and telling an NBC makeup artist, "To you this is just a job. To me it's my entire career down the toilet unless you make me look 80." The artist did, Getty got the job and won two Emmys.

It culminated a long struggle for success during which Getty worked low-paying office jobs to help support her family while she tried to make it as a stage actress."I knew I could be seduced by success in another field, so I'd say, 'Don't promote me, please,'" she recalled.

She also appeared in small parts in a handful of films and TV movies during that time, including "Tootsie," ''Deadly Force" and "Victims for Victims: The Theresa Saldana Story."After her success in "The Golden Girls," other roles came her way. She played Cher's mother in "Mask," Sylvester Stallone's in "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot" and Barry Manilow's in the TV film "Copacabana." Other credits included "Mannequin" and "Stuart Little" (as the voice of Grandma Estelle)."The Golden Girls," which ran from 1985 to 1992, was an immediate hit, and Sophia, who began as a minor character, soon evolved into a major one.

Audiences particularly loved the verbal zingers Getty would hurl at the other three. When McClanahan's libidinous character Blanche once complained that her life was an open book, Sophia shot back, "Your life's an open blouse."

Getty had gained a knack for one-liners in her late teens when she did standup comedy at a Catskills hotel. Female comedians were rare in those days, however, and she bombed.Undeterred, she continued to pursue a career in entertainment, and while her parents were encouraging, her father also insisted that she learn office skills so she would have something to fall back on.

Born Estelle Scher to Polish immigrants in New York, Getty fell in love with theater when she saw a vaudeville show at age 4. She married New York businessman Arthur Gettleman (the source of her stage name) in 1947, and they had two sons, Carl and Barry. The marriage prevailed despite her long absences on the road and in "The Golden Girls."Getty was evasive about her height, acknowledging only that she was "under 5 feet and under 100 pounds."

In addition to her son Carl, Getty is survived by son Barry Gettleman, of Miami; a brother, David Scher of London; and a sister, Rosilyn Howard of Las Vegas.

Sophia, we will miss you.

End Transmission.

My Recent Trip

Hello all!

This past weekend I surprised Chris by not only showing up in DC, but by taking him to New York as well. We had an absolute blast! We took in the sights of Times Square and did some shopping, Christopher Street and the Piers (where we met my fellow blogger FoxyBrown and his significant other - congratulations on the upcoming wedding by the way!), and even had a somber moment by visiting Ground Zero. For those people that have never been there, I strongly recommend it; it was a sad sight and brought back memories of that way. On a personal note, Chris and I both agreed that standing there you could almost hear the screams of the people that lost their lives that day.....

Pictures of the New York trip are on my Flickr page at http://www.flickr.com/photos/chgocutie/sets/72157606296117575/

Check them out!

End Transmission.

Damn...A Change In Plans

Sometimes things happen that you don't want to happen.

I had planned on surprising Chris this upcoming weekend in DC, but I got word at work that I would be going to Dallas for meetings instead, so I was forced to scrap those plans.

I was really looking forward to heading back to DC but I'm looking forward to Dallas more, as my career is really advancing and I see this as another door that is opening.

I told Chris that I'd come down there in August, which means that I'll be making two trips that month: One to DC, the other to Atlanta to hang with my peoples down there.

Wish me luck in Dallas!

Note: I didn't really have to go to Dallas. I posted this entry to throw Chris off and to surprise him in DC. Read the entry dated 7/22/08 for more info.

Talking Doesn't Help - Maybe Action Will

And the previous entry keeps going on and on and on........

I confronted Chris this morning about his friend, and needless to say it didn't turn out too well. I tried to get him to understand that when someone asks you not to mention a certain person to them ever again, they usually mean it. In fact I even went as far as asking him, "If he asked you to jump in the lake, would you do it?" He responded, "If I was asked to deliver a message, I would, even if I would drown." I honestly believe that there is more than friendship going on there, and that statement pretty much gives more ammo.

I got on him about the whole yesterday thing, and then he told me that he didn't understand how the refund process worked. Granted that, but a 7 year old would probably know that if someone didn't pay for something, they are not entitled to any money back!

After all of the mess that has happened, I informed him that his assistance with my business would no longer be required.

End Transmission.

Obnoxious Friends of People

This is a continuation to my last entry.

This morning I called Chris to catch up with him after this weekend and to make sure he was OK after Pride weekend (again, see last entry). Knowing how much his best friend and I don't get along, you would think he would never mention him again, right?

WRONG.

Today he told me, "I know this is going to make you upset but I have a message from my friend. He wants his money back from the cruise."

First of all, it really irriates me when people say "I know this is going to make you upset...." If you know it's going to make me upset, then WHY SAY IT???

Secondly, and most importantly, let me say this: His friend didn't pay for the cruise. Chris did. Chris already verbally gave instructions to have that share of the money put towards HIS portion.

I'm upset at Chris simply because he (1) didn't inform his friend of the verbal agreement between us, (2) didn't stand up to his friend and tell him that he didn't pay money towards the cruise, therefore he isn't entitled to anything (I just LOVE people who want something for nothing!), and (3) brought this information to me when he had the power and authority to squash it without it even getting to me, knowing how much we don't get along.

There are times when you embrace people, and there are times when you have to take a step back. I think this is one of those times where I'm going to have to take TWO steps back and rethink a lot of things -- including this situation.

End Transmission.

I'm Back!

(and Tim enters the room with little fanfare.....)

Hello everyone. Sorry I disappeared for a while.

Let me start by saying thank you to everyone that e-mailed, concerned about where I had gone and wanting me to come back. I'm back....for now.

I'm going to jump right into this entry with the phrase "I have a problem".

I have a problem with individuals that are condensending, talk down to people, and act as if they don't know that they're doing this. Yes, I'm talking about a certain individual that resides in Baltimore, MD, and he knows who he is. Let me set the stage: Pride weekend this past weekend. This individual not only waited until 2 days before flying to Chicago to make their flight arrangements, they did not confer with me regarding such arrangements, acted as if they knew everything, spoke down to me when I tried to give my input on my schedule and didn't want to hear anything I had to say....need I go on. The result? The flight was delayed so they didn't get here until nearly midnight (when they could have gotton on a nonstop flight and been here by 10:00pm but instead they took a flight that had A STOP).
At the Pride Parade they wanted to know where I was standing, so I told them "across from 3344" (on halsted). ACROSS DOES NOT MEAN SAME SIDE OF THE STREET. Then, this person didn't want to cross the street to get on the right side, even though everyone else was doing it during breaks in the parade (that's what the breaks are there for, idiot!)

I had to tell my friend that I didn't want to speak to this person again. It's sad when you have to use a mediator to push someone away.

"I have a problem."
I have a problem with the way some people get upset over really, really, REALLY minor things. I mean things so minor and petty that most people would laugh over this. Someone that resides in the South got upset with me because I was talking to them "like my homeboy" during the Pride Parade. Yes, you heard me correctly. I won't even get into all of the logistics behind that, just know that it was so petty, it left me scratching my head and saying "what the FUCK?"

"I have a problem."
I'm suffering from pre-hypertension and my blood pressure is a little elevated. Needless to say, it's almost time for a vacation, and my cruise in September isn't coming fast enough. The amazing thing is that it's not my job that is stressing me out, it's stupid ignorant people, condensending individuals, and people that are trying to start really petty disagreements. I wish people would know how to talk, be able to check themselves, and not judge me based on what other people have done in the past.

End Transmission.

Will Be Back Soon

Thank you to everyone who has expressed concern about the absence of my blog. I've been forced to take a short break to take care of some things...but I will be back real soon...maybe as soon as tomorrow.......

End Transmission.

Nate Spencer, Donald Young and Barack Obama

Lately I've been receiving a LOT of mail from different sources (media, freelancers, etc) in regards to the three people named above.

I have chosen to keep my mouth shut because UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO I TALK TO ANYONE FROM THE MEDIA.

All I will say is this:

LEAVE NATE SPENCER ALONE. ALLOW HIM TO REST IN PEACE.
LEAVE DONALD YOUNG ALONE. ALLOW HIM TO REST IN PEACE.

I'll say it one more time for the hearing impaired:

LEAVE NATE SPENCER ALONE. ALLOW HIM TO REST IN PEACE.
LEAVE DONALD YOUNG ALONE. ALLOW HIM TO REST IN PEACE.

Please do not disturb these two souls. LET THEM REST.
Please do not attempt to tie Barack Obama into the lives of these two. LET THEM REST.
Please do not attempt to use me or anyone else for your agendas. LET THEM REST AND LET THE REST OF US MOVE ON.

I'll pray for you all, and that's all I'll do. I have nothing else to say.

End Transmission.

Don't Do Nice Things For NIGGAS

I had to come up with some catchy title for this blog entry.

This evening I attended a very nice gala to represent my job here in Chicago. Seeing as I didn't want to go alone, I took Anton (not his real name) with me. I thought that we would have a good time, and that the evening would go well, right?

WRONG!

Anton decided he wanted to mildly "show out" during the gala, by talking about folks, giving negative comments regarding just about every aspect of the gala, and even making the statement "you can either have me here or me being nice, but not both". He wasn't loud about it, but you know the saying "you never know who is listening".

Did I mention that the CEO, my boss and two of my other co-workers were present? Did I also mention that all the way home Anton acted as if he had a serious attitude?

Yes, this person has been disqualified from my life. He doesn't know it at the time of me typing this entry, but rest assured he will know on Monday when he opens his e-mail at his job and sees a nicely worded message from me. In addition, and I hate to say it, but I don't think I can invite anybody anywhere ever again.

Guess it's time for me to go into my two worst modes: "serious bitch" and "total seperation from the outside world".

End Transmission.

Thank You

Thank you Don T from FedEx Kinko's for walking out of my life because of some information that I shared with you in confidence. Your lack of fucking friendship knows no boundaries. I knew we weren't going to work out when I talked to you man-to-man and you cringed. Instead of being a REAL man and telling me how you felt YOU WERE A PUSSY and didn't say shit!

Thank you to all those people that I thought were decent individuals, associates or whatever, and then you act like everything is cool, then you run like little bitches!

Thank you to the 19 year old queen on the street that tried to holla and got shut down! Everybody don't want you, especially if you're not doing anything with your life but walking around clubs that you can't get into, getting food off of the free food truck!

Thank you to my so called associates that I tried to call and vent to but you were either getting laid, macking or a combination of the two. Your lack of action has made me reexamine my association with all of you and forced me to reexamine my life as a whole. Whenever you need me I'm there; I just ask for the same in return.

And finally, to all the people that I have not mentioned that contributed to me being pissed off, hurt, disappointed and just downright evil this evening, thank you.

End Transmission.

Thank You

Thank you to all that commented, called, sent e-mails, and prayed while I was going through my little "moment" if you will.

I am pleased to say that I"m much better now, things have improved, and I'm back on the right path.

Now, I'm off to Derby Day (if you don't know what Derby Day is, click this link).

Thank you all again!

End Transmission.

Frustrations

I'm having one of those moments where I just need to sit down and type out my feelings because I'm really frustrated right now.

For starters, I don't have that many true friends (actually I only have ONE true friend that I can call on and he'll drop everything to come and see about me). I have a handful of associates that I can call on the phone on occasion, but no one really that I can call a true friend (with the exception of the one I mentioned above). Only problem is that he's a straight guy; go figure.
I'm LONELY and can't find an outlet to not be so lonely. I go out to bars and people either (a) don't want to talk to me because I'm not white, (b) don't want to talk to me because I don't have a 6-pack and a 50 inch chest, or (c) just want to sleep with me because of that myth about black men (and believe me, for some, IT IS A MYTH).

There are a lot of other things upsetting me right now. For starters, the one person that truly gives a damn is 600 miles away in the DC area. I can't get to him when I'd like and vice versa. I want him with me so badly that it hurts when I realize that he's 600 miles away.
Then there's the usher ministry at my church. There are some old ushers (and some young ones) that talk down to people; that act as if I am their child. After being talked down to for the last time today, I have decided to take a leave of absence to get my sanity together. I don't want to do it, but before I forget that I'm in the house of God, I think I need to.

I just want to be happy and not so damn lonely. Yeah, I got the nice job, a few coins in the bank, my own business and someone that cares about me from afar, but why can't I find some honest people that I can interact with, have a good time hanging out with, and be cool with, without any alterior motives?

It's gotton to the point whereas I just want to sit in the house, watch TV, eat, and go to bed.

End Transmission.

Haters and people that stab you in the back

It's a shame that individuals want to be my friend one minute and then stab me in the back the next.

It's a shame that I try to be somewhat of a friend, yet my kindness is returned with trickery, evil, and stupid shit.

It's a shame that I've moved on with my life and have found someone that truly cares for me, yet individuals STILL loyal to my ex not only want us to get back together (hell will freeze over before that happens), but run to him and tell him stuff about me (such as the fact that I'm in a relationship now).

That being said, I am re-examining all of my "associates" and "friends". Starting this afternoon I will be removing a lot of people from my life permanently.

End Transmission.

I Moderate All Comments For A Reason

This is going to be probably the quickest entry on record...

An anonymous individual left a comment on my blog in regards to Donald Young's death last December. That entry will never see the light of day.

How dare you put a comment up thinking you have information related to a crime that has not been solved, yet it is to a blog for a smear campaign against Barack Obama?

I will not even dignify the individual with the link to their blog. All I can say is I have comment moderation on for a reason.

End transmission.

Another Black Gay Man Is Full Of Sh*t

This afternoon I was at Macy's here in Chicago buying some Frango chocolates, quite possibly the best chocolates in the city. I saw this black guy that was obviously gay (at least to me), so I walked over to him and attempted to start a conversation with him. Now "start a conversation" does NOT mean "try to go to bed with him". I made mention on how the south side of Chicago was under-developed in terms of African-American owned businesses, and this person (named Kyle) started going off about how the caucasians are moving in and pushing the black people out! All I wanted was a casual conversation, not someone unstable to the point.

At that point, I decided to give this individual another chance and attempted to exchange numbers to continue the conversation later. He tells me (and I quote) "naw man, I don't exchange numbers, I have to see you a few more times first". I'm standing there like "what the fuck, nigga you ain't that attractive, I just want to have a decent conversation with you!" At that point I just walked away.

What is it with black gay men and honest decent conversation? It's like most of them are on bi-polar disorder, either it's one extreme or the other. I wish I could've taken a picture of this guy so I could show the world that another black gay man is full of sh*t.

End transmission.

Just some random thoughts

Look, I know it's been a month of Sundays since I've typed a blog entry, and I know that a lot has happened....

I'm not going to even talk about the whole Barack Obama and Jeremiah Wright hot topic, because to me it's not even really an issue. I'd like to thank the news media for totally destroying my pastor's reputation, however. You'll never know how many enemies you've made.

Now, let me get on to the real reason why I'm typing at 12:45 in the morning when I should be sleeping: Chris. Chris is someone that lives in DC that I've been talking to off and on since the latter half of last year. Recently it's been more on than off, and we've found ourselves falling head over heels for each other. I find him to be very intellectual, very grounded and fun to be around. And yes, I find him to be very attractive as well. : ) In fact, he's coming to pay me a visit next week, and I'm very excited about that. Oh, did I mention that we've never met face to face? Our interactions have been totally over e-mail, IM, text messaging and phone. We have a lot of the same interests, want a lot of the same things out of life, have the same fears, both are big kids when we want to be, and have a deep admiration for each other. We've both agreed to take things one day at a time, and I'm really liking that. We'll see what happens as time goes on.

Oh yeah, before I go, let me just say that I'll be in DC in mid-April and over the Memorial Day weekend, then the following weekend I'll be in Atlanta. I'm anxious to see my friends in both cities, and know I'll have a good time.

End transmission.

Jerome

Well I hate to say it, but Jerome and I have split up. (We actually split on January 1.)

Let me say this. I do still love him, but we both have issues that definitely need work. I did not, out of fairness, want to continue in a relationship whereas I would continue to look over my shoulder and wait for the next "fuck up".

The end came when a series of incidents happened over a period of time whereas some things were said that shouldn't have been said, tempers flared and a harsh realization within me happened. I came to the realization that, again, out of fairness I had to let him go.

I still want to be friends with him; it'll just take some time for everything to settle, to "heal" if you will. The only thing that I have a problem with right now is that he wants to hang out right away. For example, I received a voicemail from him this evening asking for both of us to go to church together on the next Sunday that I will not have to usher. Whereas I am attempting to be his friend, I think it is too soon to "hang out" or go places together.

Am I making sense?

End Transmission.

Mt Recent Trip to DC for Orientation

Sorry that this post is so late.

Last week I went to DC for orientation with my new company. It was two days of fun and learning about my new role in the company, as well as about the company itself.

For starters, I arrived the day before orientation. I arrived safely in DC and waited on my boy Jay to pick me up from Reagan airport. You know the saying about black folks; they never arrive anywhere on time. Jay was about a half-hour late. So we finally get underway and get to the hotel and check in. We talk for a little while and then head out to the Manager's reception at the hotel for cocktails (did I mention that they were free? Always stay at an Embassy Suites!). After that we got on the Metrorail (the world's most beautiful transit system) and went to The Fireplace, this gay bar in the Dupont Circle area. Didn't stay there very long because I really wasn't feeling the clientele that night - a whole bunch of drunk begging negroes. One negro was in the restroom with me trying to show off his stuff and trying to grab me on my ass (a MAJOR MAJOR pet peeve of mine) - I pushed him to the side and walked away. We left and that concluded day one.

Day two begun orientation. Our headquarters is HUGE - and very beautiful at the same time. The people that work there are real laid back and friendly, from the security guards to the facilitators to the HR people (I met my HR person, and DAMN he's cute!!! But I know not to even approach it in that light!!!). On the first day we talked about all aspects of the company and performed a few group exercises with the people at our table. I could tell I was probably the only one there from the Midwest, especially when we all had to stand up and introduce ourselves and say where we were from. The facilitator, upon hearing my name immediately said "Oh, you're my midwest guy! I'm sure you're used to this weather!" (It was zero in Chicago when I left and 40 degrees in DC that day.) We adjourned from orientation about 4:15, but not before they gave us a real nice lunch around the noon hour.

Night two - I didn't meet up with Jay that evening, but I did go back to The Fireplace and meet up with my associate Tim. We had a few cocktails, and I met a few people, but this time around in terms of the people, I kept running into the same types of folks, the drunk, begging and game playing type. In addition to that, I wasn't in the bar two minutes before this guy comes and sits down next to me and starts a conversation with me. FIFTEEN SECONDS into the convo he's asking me to buy him a drink! I had to tell him that I ain't like that and I don't buy drinks for people I don't know! That's when this guy that used to live here that I've known for almost two decades named Ricky walked in. I completely ignored that other guy and talked to Ricky for a while before going upstairs. Again, we kept running into the drunk begging folks. Not my thing. In fact the same guy that was trying to grab on me and show me his "stuff" the night before didn't even remember doing it. Being insulted, I left. While I was at Krispy Kreme, I met this guy named Rico Sanchez. Rico was attractive, but he is a liar and a game player. If you ever go to DC and meet someone that used to live in Detroit named Rico Sanchez, RUN LIKE HELL!

Day Three - For orientation, they took us on a bus tour of Southeast DC to show us a stark contrast as to what my company is trying to do in terms of housing and what housing is like now. I was totally in shock as to the conditions of the public housing units there. I saw lots of run-down, boarded up and dilapidated housing. Keep in mind people still live here. My heart goes out to those people. Then they showed us the transformation that my company is attempting to do with the public housing, and I was stunned. The housing communities that they were putting up were absolutely beautiful. We're taking entire housing projects and transforming them into absolutely beautiful communities for those residents, with more amenities and safety features. It made me feel good.

After the bus tour, we returned to HQ and adjourned. I then headed back to the airport and came home safely. But I'll be back in DC in about two weeks for President's Day weekend!

End Transmission.

The New Job

Well I've made it through the first week at the new job, and I must admit, it's better than I thought it would be. My primary responsibilities are to manage my director's calendar and ensure that he's organized. Plus, there's some special projects that will pop up from time to time that I have to manage. I've basically hit the ground running and cleaned up my director's contacts, had to shuttle some stuff around on his calendar, and am in the process of reorganizing the filing system in the office.

All in all, it's a fairly easy and fun job, unlike the last job where it was in a so-called team environment (it wasn't a team at all), I'm reporting to one person and only supporting two others, which is a very good thing. Sometimes a smaller office structure makes it a lot better as you don't have too many other personalities to deal with.

As a matter of fact, I have to fly out to DC for two and a half days next week (Monday-Wednesday) for work. The company is paying for everything, and I get to expense my ground transportation and dinners back to the company. No I'm not going to go crazy and order lobster; I promise to keep it modest. : )

I do, however, want to thank God for giving me this position. Anything that God gives you is promising, therefore this position is very promising!

That's all for now about the job!

End Transmission.

Welcome to 2008 - Ten Days Late

Hello Everyone. Welcome to 2008.

I took a few days to regroup from a series of funerals and some other major things before coming back.

For starters, I am now a little over 3 days away from my new "miracle job". I'm as ready as I'm going to be. Nervous? A little - as this is for a totally new company and first impressions are the most lasting ones. I sincerely hope that everything will turn out great (as I'm sure it will). What am I talking about, it WILL turn out great as I know that God has my back!

I've pretty much budgeted out the next nine months, and so far I've made arrangements to come to Washington DC for their black gay pride in May and to Atlanta for their black gay pride in August/September. It'll be my first Atlanta black gay pride and my 4th DC black gay pride. Of course I'll be here at home for Chicago's gay pride. I'm also looking at throwing in a trip to New York later in the year. I'm real excited about all of this and am definitely looking forward to the upcoming year!

Please pray for me and I'll be praying for all of you!

End Transmission.

Funeral for Donald Young, TUCC Sanctuary Choir Director

Because of all of the negativity surrounding Trinity UCC, Barack Obama and Jeremiah Wright, I have decided not to allow any more comments. I am truly disappointed at some of the comments I have had to reject - this posting is about the loss of a life, NOT Jeremiah Wright or Barack Obama. I am sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you.


May you rest in peace Donald.
End Transmission.

Gay Man's Therapy

After hearing about the loss of Donald Young and Nate Spencer, I had to perform some Gay Man's Therapy.

Not a haircut.

Not a trip.

(contrary to public belief) and Not Intimacy either.

What is Gay Man's Therapy then?

SHOPPING!!!

I logged onto Fingerhut and ordered up some stuff. Check out what I ordered:

These items have already been shipped and are on their way. Sometimes you gotta just do a little impulse shopping to soften the blow.

End transmission.

Nathaniel (Nate) Spencer, TUCC Sanctuary Choir Member

Updated 1/8/08 11:27am.
For those individuals that may think this post is tacky, please go to the comments section and read the reply to commenter "Robert" before forming a judgement. Thank you.

When it rains, it pours.
For the second time in a week I am mourning the loss of someone close to me.

Yesterday I received word that Nate Spencer passed away. Nate was one of my good friends and I've known him for years. He was 30 years old. We were running buddies for many years until an unfortunate circumstance happened.

What really hurts me is not only the fact that he was so young, or that he won't get to celebrate 2008 with us, it's that he was angry with me (to the point of hatred) over a certain individual that he was no longer dating that I started dating -- months after the fact. He carried that with him to his grave. I tried to be a good friend with him even in the face of this hatred, and I am truly in pain about everything. Earlier this summer I commented with a friend about that and quoted Madea when I said "people in their graves dead and gone still holding on to stuff" (from Madea's Class Reunion), and that's exactly what happened.

The funeral was held on Monday January 7, 2008. Out of respect for the family, I will not be posting an obituary online.
Please pray for Nate's family, and for our church, as we're about to have Donald Young's funeral on Saturday.

End Transmission.

UPDATED Funeral Arrangements for Donald Young, TUCC Sanctuary Choir Director

The dates and times have been changed.

The funeral will be this upcoming SATURDAY at Trinity United Church of Christ, 400 West 95th Street. Visitation is at 10:00am, the service begins at 11:00am.

End Transmission.

Donald Young, TUCC Sanctuary Choir Director

Because of all of the negativity surrounding Trinity UCC, Barack Obama and Jeremiah Wright, I have decided not to allow any more comments. I am truly disappointed at some of the comments I have had to reject - this posting is about the loss of a life, NOT Jeremiah Wright or Barack Obama. I am sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you.

Updated 5/3/08 8:30 am

I'm going to keep this entry brief.
Today has truly been a very sad and upsetting day.

When I got to church this morning, I found out that the director of our sanctuary choir, Donald Young, passed away last night. Donald was the director with the long braids that lead the choir for at least as long as I've been at Trinity United Church of Christ.

Out of respect I do not want to go into the specifics as to what happened, but I will say that his passing was an absolutely senseless act, and a hard blow to all of us that knew and respected him.

May God rest your soul Donald. You will TRULY be missed by all.
Please pray for the family of Donald Young, as well as the music ministry and congregation of Trinity United Church of Christ.

If you wish to post words of encouragement for the family, please place them in the comments section and I will make sure that the family receives them.

End Transmission.

My New Playtoy

I bought the Motorola Q phone to help in my new job and for my business. Anybody else have this phone? Tell me what you think!

Chicago Transit Authority "Job Action" CALLED OFF

Updated 11:25am
The Chicago Transit Authority Transit Unions have called off a so-called "Job Action" that would have affected 1.5 million people in the Chicago area. This "Job Action" which was scheduled to take effect at 8:00pm on Sunday evening, would've been accomplished by CTA Bus and Train operators walking off of the job in protest for 24 hours. After meeting with various pastors, the unions decided to "stand down for now" and cancel the scheduled "Job Action".

This "Job Action" would've, in effect, crippled the City of Chicago as 1.5 million people ride CTA buses and trains on a daily basis. They are frustrated with the lawmakers in Springfield because the Governor and House Speaker cannot stop fighting long enough to come up with a solution to mass transit funding in the State.

I don't have to say what a "Job Action" would've meant to Chicago. Just imagine, no buses or "L" trains. On a Monday. On a COLD Monday I might add. However, Metra and Pace have stated that they will not participate in a "Job Action", which is a small silver lining in this very dark cloud.

Governor Blago and House Speaker Madigan, stop playing the "My-Dick-Is-Bigger-Than-Your-Dick" game and come up with a plan to solve the transit funding issue. Please.

End transmission.

A Testimony....God shows up when you least expect it!

Let me be a living testimony for everyone right quick...

I had been (along with a ton of other people) praying non-stop for a job. My 6-month unemployment cycle is due to dry up next month, and I was facing the real possibility of losing everything - my apartment, my way of life. For the first time I was truly scared and thinking that I would not have anywhere to go and that I could possibly be like one of those individuals on the street. I prayed to God; I asked all of my friends and my usher family at church to pray for this job, and for God to come through before it was too late.

In asking for God, there was a period where I heard nothing, either from God or from the company that I interviewed with, and I thought that He had pushed me away. I felt hurt, lost. Then last night Jerome started feeling excited for some strange reason, and he couldn't explain it. I called Jerome this morning and he told me about his feelings, which I couldn't explain either.

An hour after speaking with Jerome, I received a call from the company. I was fully prepared for them to tell me that they either were still trying to make their decision, or (worse) they were going in a different direction.

Not so.

God came through, and they offered me the position! Not only that, He came through with an overabundance!

This is absolute proof that God is real and He will come through when you least expect it!

Use my testimony as an example, and continue to pray for what you need and He will give it to you!

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Please Use Next What?

I have no comment.

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World AIDS Day // The Passing of Anthony Hollins

Anthony, you will never know how you blessed my life. You will truly be missed.

I'm Starting My Own Business

Hello everyone. I'm starting my own travel and event planning service, and I wanted to let everyone know. My business focuses on travel arrangements and assistance with event planning. Check out my website at http://www.timhookertravel.com for more information.

Support me!!! I'd really appreciate it!!!

Happy Late-Halloween

(I know this is a late post, but I wanted to make sure that all my pictures were in order.)

Lakeview's annual Halloween Parade was this past Wednesday, and I did attend. Check out some of these costumes:







And now, let me tell you about this ghetto fabulous wanna-be female that was there:


This girl was literally yelling (in my ear mind you) to the people in the parade to give her some beads if she showed them her breasts! This is NOT Jerry Springer! Nobody wants to see your breasts!

Finally, while I was walking down the street after the parade, this ghetto ass mexican girl and her three kids were taking up the ENTIRE sidewalk. I said "excuse me" FOUR TIMES but she didn't move so I pushed past her. She then wants to get loud and ignorant with me asking if I didn't see her stroller next to her - which I didn't. She then continues to get loud at which point I just tell her to go get a cocktail and to have a happy halloween. Look, if I could've gotton a picture of you I would have, but you know what they say about witches - you can't get a picture of them. Be careful who you're yelling at; they could work for INS.

Oh I almost forgot! What did I go as? See below - but don't talk about me too bad:

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My Mom's Birthday

Today is my mom's 65th birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

The final night of Men's Week

Sorry that it took me so long to come back and talk about the final night of Men's Week with you all.

Needless to say on last Wednesday night, the final night of our Men's Week at my church, Rev. McKissick once again preached with all power! He spoke truth and taught all of us something! For instance:

- Where you are is where you are for now! God will manifest himself! Don't let where you are depress of discourage you!
Once again, speaking to me about my job situation. I actually feel changed in the situation whereas I'm a lot more hopeful and a LOT LESS WORRYSOME.

- Just because you haven't figured out your purpose yet, doesn't mean it doesn't exist! If you are a child of God, you're already in a position to prosper!
Don't get it twisted though, being prosperous doesn't always mean FINANCIALLY prosperous! We have a bad problem of equating blessings and being prosperous with money, and it doesn't work like that!

- God is not handicapped by your history!
Just because you've had a bad history doesn't mean that God will handcuff you by it!

- Don't surround yourself with people that settle! Some people are not assigned to go with you! Don't make the mistake of making a transitional person permanent! When you see people blocking your blessing, keep going and you'll leave the mixed signals behind!
I'll come back to this in a moment.

- God declares it while you don't have it! He makes promises under the backdrop of impossibility! When you can't see it, you're in a good position for a blessing!

Now, to go back on the point of surrounding yourself with people that settle:
Two years ago on my trip to DC, I met an individual (I won't reveal his name) that was a friend of one of my other friends that was there. We hung out for a brief moment and we had an intimate encounter. Now I wasn't looking for a relationship, especially with someone (a) 600 miles from Chicago and (b) of this person's caliber. He did NOT have a job, lived WITH individuals, used other people's names to obtain stuff, and (get this) lied about his age. When we met he had me believe he was 21 when he was only 17 (and believe me he looks a LOT older than that).

That was two years ago. I hadn't heard from him since...until now.

He called me on yesterday evening FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S PHONE, CLAIMING IT TO BE HIS. When I looked at the Caller ID (thanks goodness for Caller ID) it had a woman's name on it. I asked him again who's phone that was, and he finally told me "well it's my sister's phone". I just had to say, in not so many words, that since he couldn't get anything in his name, and that he wasn't attempting to better himself, that he had to get out of my life. I'm trying to surround myself with people that are attempting to better themselves, not use your momma's name, your sister's name, your cousin's name...need I go on?

I am no longer settling for those types of people! I need better!

Just examine yourself and your friends and ask yourself this simple question:
"Who is really trying to better themselves and help me get better?"

Only keep THOSE individuals in your life. The rest, let them go!

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Church has been ON POINT this week!

This week is our annual Men's Week at my church, and our guest preacher, Rev. Dr. Rudolph McKissick Jr., has been truly preaching with power each and every night thus far! Tonight, unfortunately, is our last night. I say unfortunately because I just wish that this could go on for truly, the rest of the week!

Monday he preached on the topic "I'm tired of living like a lunatic!" taken from Matthew 17:14-18. In that sermon, he taught us that:
- Sometimes your change doesn't come through the church!
He made this point because in Matthew, it is the story of the deciples being unable to help a man's son that he brought to them. The deciples were not in a position to help because their minds were on other things! And that is true with the church today; some churches have their minds on "name-it-and-claim-it", being a "prosperity" church or a "prosperity" preacher and not be focused on helping our children get out of gangs, off of drugs and be true children of God!
- You know you're mature when you can go to God on someone's behalf and know that it's not about you and that it's beyond you!
Don't you love it when people pray on your behalf, you get your breakthrough and THEY take the credit? It's not about you! It's about God!
- You know you're mature when you can let go and let others help!

Then he went on to teach us that:
- How the problem is presented in hardly the problem!
Sometimes the problem manifests symptoms that make you think it's one thing when it's truly something else, running the risk of mis-diagnosis!

Finally:
- Speak to your situation; don't be ashamed or scared to face it!

AND THAT WAS JUST MONDAY NIGHT.

Last night, Rev. McKissick preached on the subject "It's all up to Him!" from Matthew 8:1-4. This was one of those sermons that just grabs you and will never let you go.

Check this out:

- Just because God can do it doesn't mean that He will!
Know that if He doesn't do what you want, it will be ok! Always go into a situation with the question "I know He can, but WILL He?" Know that whenever God says no, it's always a set-up for a bigger yes! Leave God room for the bigger yes!

- Your faith is about accepting God's will, NOT changing it!
We don't have enough tongues to change His will (as Rev. McKissick said last night). Be mature enough to access it!

Then, he hit REAL close to home:
- Learn how to worship God so you can live with some stuff without it driving you crazy!
- The phrase "If you're willing" (Matt 8:2) means that you're prepared to live with it if you can't get rid of it! Some things you will just have to live with! God isn't going to change some things because he doesn't want to!
- God is looking for some soldiers that He doesn't always have to take out of stuff! He wants to see how much endurance you can go through!

I'm REAL anxious to see what he's going to preach on tonight!

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Do You Know Your Favorite Artists' Real Name?

OK - check out this test and see if you can tell me who the REAL names of these famous rappers and R&B artists are! Good luck!!!
(NOTE: After completing the test, it will ask you to register in order for you results to be posted. There is NO NEED to enter a real email address, and you can click on PASS without entering your personal information.)



Create your own Friend Test here

Holler til He hears you!

This morning (well, yesterday morning since it's after 1:30am as I type this) I had the pleasure of hearing Rev. Dr. Rudolph W McKissick Jr from the Bethel Baptist Institutional Church located in Jacksonville Florida preach at my church. For those of you that don't know him, he is a truly dynamic preacher that speaks truth to power.

This morning's message was taken from Mark 10:46-52 and it was titled "Holler Til He Hears You". In listening to this message (which you can purchase from the church at http://www.tucc.org/ and I highly recommend it), it taught me a few things:

- Don't let your shortcomings have you coming up short!

- Learn how to manage what you have so you can get back what you lost! He taught us on this point that sometimes we have a bad habit of asking God for more things but we can't manage what He has given us thus far, so before we ask for more we need to be able to manage what we have!

- Don't use your deficiency as an excuse to staying how you are! Don't rely on other people to keep you at the level in which you're at now; keep people in your life that will help you grow and get better!

- Your haters will become the revelation that leads to your liberation! I think this point is very self explanatory.

All in all, a very very good message. Something to really think about.

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Check Yourself Before You Talk About Other Folks

Last night on the CTA, I ran into a friend and we were talking while this girl and her "boyfriend" were busy talking about us. Now I think you all know me so I whipped out my cameraphone and took some pictures of the hideous couple...take a look:



Sweetheart, let me tell you something. First of all, you are not attractive, neither one of you. I am not interested in either of you. Secondly, you both draw attention to yourselves - and I don't need to say why. Finally, your "boyfriend" looks more like a fag than anybody I've ever seen.

The next time you wanna talk about somebody, make sure they can't hear you or that your boyfriend looks a lot more masculine.

Besides, we know you're fucking him, and not the other way around.

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A Crazy Drunk Female On The Late Night #3

This drunk lady gets on the bus and starts talking very loudly about how she knows the governor, the mayor and how she wants everybody to get home safely. Then she starts talking about she wants to turn gay folks straight, how she hasn't been laid in about two years, how she personally knows Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, and how she had two long island ice teas at Bennigan's and now she's full.

I see why she hasn't been laid in two years.

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Draper and Kramer = HORRIBLE MANAGEMENT

Let me tell you about one of the most horrible management companies around, Draper and Kramer.

My building is managed by this "wonderful" management company, and I have to admit that living here is OK - until you have to deal with these people. They are lazy, greedy, and for the most part, incompetent.

Let me give you an example:

As you may or may not know, I am not working right now and are surviving on unemployment and the assistance of others. I have had to resort to splitting my rent payment into two payments of $350 each to coincide with my unemployment payments. Unfortunately this pay period I have fallen a little short ($40 to be exact) because of unexpected expenses.

Now most companies would accept the money that I have now and worry about the $40 later (I did promise to pay them the balance in two weeks with the next unemployment disbursement), but NOT DRAPER AND KRAMER. These people are prepared to go through eviction processing, for FORTY DOLLARS that they can't wait for.

I've been a dedicated resident for over four years now and have not had any problems until now. These people are not hearing me when I ask for some type of payment arrangement, nor do they want a partial payment. They don't care that I don't have anywhere to go, all they want is their FORTY FUCKIN DOLLARS. The last place I lived in would bend over backwards to help out its residents; the only reason I left there is because I thought the grass was greener on the other side, but I'm starting to find out that it's manure.

If I get through this and make it through this lease, I will be moving somewhere once my lease is up. This management company is full of shit, doesn't care about its residents, and is all about the all mighty dollar. Well you can't be about the all mighty dollar when you don't have any residents, now can you?

But before everyone barks at me, let me tell you more about this horrible management company. This complex could be a lot more than it is, but you have managers that fuck you over, a horrible security staff (most of the time they sleep at night instead of doing rounds; you're on your own if you really need help!) and just an overall "fuck you" attitude towards the residents.

Why am I still here? Because I'm locked into a lease that doesn't expire until March, 2008. But you best believe that there will be changes come then, because I'm tired of being fucked.

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Oh it's Wednesday.....

So I spent today applying for jobs from home, then afterwards I stepped out for lunch. While I was downtown grabbing something from Subway I saw a fairly attractive guy (albet feminine) with his "girlfriend" walking down the street. I speak to him (as I speak to just about everyone), and he starts giggling. Then, five minutes later as I'm on the bus heading home, I see him standing at the bus stop. He sees me sitting on the bus and starts whispering and giggling again to his "girlfriend". Such a turn off. Now I wasn't trying to flirt with him or anything, I was just speaking, just being polite, as I was raised to be.

The lovely lawmakers down in Springfield still have not come up with a plan to save mass transit here in the Chicago area. Just a few weeks ago, the governor extended to the Regional Transit Authority the state's share of the 2008 budget, a sort of "payday loan" if you will, with the promise of fixing the funding issues. And now the "payday loan" is about to run out and there will be no more money for mass transit, so there will be some serious service cuts come November 4th. I wish that the governor and the house speaker would stop playing this "my-dick-is-bigger-than-your-dick" game and start working for the people of Illinois.

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The LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon

26.2 miles. 15 neighborhoods. 45,000 runners. Sounds like the 30th annual LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon to me.

It was truly inspiring to see everyone out there running, walking, cheering. There was even a Chicago firefighter in full firefighting gear taking part! There were older people, young people, the fit and the not-so-fit, all taking part in this annual event.

The marathon usually lasts about 8 hours (8am-4pm) to give everyone a chance to complete the course. Unfortunately, because it was nearly 90 degrees today with 80 percent humidity, the marathon was called off 4 hours and 10 minutes into the race.

All of the photos are located at http://www.flickr.com/photos/chgocutie/sets/72157602306194669/.

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CUBS LOSE!!!

The Chicago Cubs came back to Wrigley Field here in Chicago and lost 5-1. The lead-off pitcher in the first inning with the very first pitch gave up a home run.

That was a sign of things to come.

Not only did they lose tonight, they got swept through the entire series by the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Guess the curse is still on.

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Random Thoughts

* Well the Chicago Cubs lost again last night, so now they're down 2-0 in the series. As a true black White Sox fan, I"m here to say that it doesn't look like the Cubs will pull through this time around. Kinda reminds me of 2003.....

* I ushered at the homegoing celebration of Nailah Franklin last Wednesday evening at my church. Needless to say it was a wonderful service, however some of the folks there were down right disrespectful to my fellow ushers and disrespectful to church decorum. If an usher advises you to wait to enter the sanctuary because the family is preparing to march in, WAIT, don't push your way past!! Plus, unless God, Jesus or Moses is calling you on your cell phone, you shouldn't be using it in the sanctuary. Pookie can wait five minutes.

* I was watching the Steve Wilkos show this afternoon and they arrested this guy that was wanted for Murder, Attempted Murder, Weapons Violations and one other charge that I can't remember right now. It's amazing how these guys run these streets acting like they are the hardest things running around, but as soon as they face getting locked up, they turn into punks and start crying and shittin bricks, just like this guy that they arrested.

* I've spent most of the week in the house, applying for jobs and letting life pass me by. I decided that this cycle was going to end tonight, and that I'm going to go out and try to enjoy myself. I want to thank everybody that gave me words of encouragement in my last post; know that it is all truly appreciated.

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I'm VERY frustrated

In case you didn't know, I've been without a job or a steady source of income for about three months now. (Unless you count unemployment, which is something but not a whole lot.) During those three months I've applied for numerous jobs, given my resume to countless recruiters, gone on many interviews, have been offered a job and then had the offer taken away, gone on a drug test only to be told that the company is going in a different direction (and no I don't use any type of illegal drugs by the way), and just pretty much feel as if I've hit rock bottom.

I'm very frustrated with myself.

Right now I can't keep pace with my rent + other bills. Jerome is helping out but even with that I'm barely getting by. It's gotton to the point whereas I've had to sacrifice a whole lot just to try to stay afloat -- but at times I feel like the Titanic, just destined to hit that iceburg and sink to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Earlier in the day yesterday I had to go downtown to make a partial payment on some of my bills. I don't even know why I did that because just being downtown seeing everyone working and happy just made me feel like crap. I want that again...I want to work somewhere and be happy and make a decent wage -- or at least enough to pay the bills. I'm asking myself when (and as of lately..IF) that will happen.

Because right now I'm not so sure.

By the way, if you know of anyone that is hiring for either an admin/executive assistant or banking operations, please click here and send me an e-mail.
If you definitely feel my situation and are able to donate to help keep me afloat, click here. I would not go this far unless it was truly needed, and believe me, it is.

If you want to just give some words of encouragement, the comments box is open.

I appreciate everyone, either way.

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What the...?????

Check out this video - please post comments!!!

No Gays In Iran?

So the President of Iran spoke at Columbia University yesterday. I have to admit I had not this individual speak before, but I have a few friends that have told me just how much of an ass he can be.

So imagine my surprise when I turned on the news and he had the nerve to say that "we don't have homosexuals in Iran like you have homosexuals in your country" (or words to that effect).

I have to admit, he sounds like another (former) Senator Craig to me. We'll find him in some bathroom somewhere tapping his foot trying to solicit some other guy for some undercover sex or something.

Or better yet, he's probably already sleeping with George W. Bush.

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Could You Be ANY Louder?

This weekend I've encountered two version of that crazy illness called "wanna-be ghetto-fabulous"....one with pictures!

The first incident was at the movie theater. A friend and I went to see Resident Evil Extinction this weekend (it was just OK to me by the way). During the movie, this group of six ghetto guys (I hate to say that they were black) were talking during the movie. Not just average whispering, but TALKING. It got to the point whereas I stood up, walked out of the theater, got the manager who returned with two security guards, and escorted the entire entourage out of the theater. I wish I had a picture of these guys; I mean the statement "showing your ass" didn't do them justice...and I'm not talking about being ejected or the talking either. You'll get that one later.

The second incident was on the way to church on Sunday on the train. Needless to say some people absolutely do not need a cell phone!

This girl was just loud and ghetto for absolutely no reason! Tone it down!!! We don't want to hear or care about your baby daddy, don't care about what you're having for dinner, what club you're going to, or any of that!!!

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Why would you dress like that for an interview?

Yesterday I attend a job fair at Bank of America where they were hiring for tellers and service positions.

That's where the boring part of the entry ends.

Some of these people that attended dressed professionally, but most of them dressed as if they either (a) rolled out of the bed, (b) were on their way to the club, or (c) was showing just how ghetto they can be. This one guy came there in a t-shirt and baggy jeans, and the shirt and jeans didn't even match!!! Then this other girl came there in a very short short blue jean skirt, a very short and tight white shirt showing off all her goodies (and tattoos too). One girl even felt as if she was dressed inappropriately (even though she was) but at least she admitted it because her good girlfriend dragged her down there (and her best girlfriend was the one with the blue jean skirt).

And that's just two examples of how some of the individuals were all out of pocket. I just wanna know, why would you dress like that for an interview? Haven't you learned that an interview = shirt and tie for men or business suit/tasteful blouse and tasteful skirt for women?

By the way, did I mention that all of the inappropriately dressed people were black? Out of the entire room of blacks, whites, asians, latinos and mexicans, every other ethnic group was dressed to the nine...except some of the black people. That's a damn shame.

(Note, there was this one puerto rican papi that was there in a black suit with a black tie. I wish I had taken a picture of him because this papi was foine!)

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The Jena 6 and the Son-Of-A-Bush

What the hell is going on down in Louisiana?

I have to get on my soapbox for a minute.

If you haven't heard, 6 black individuals (now nationally known as the Jena 6) were charged (initially) for second degree murder of a white student whereas three white students were only suspended and not expelled or arrested.

What was the cause of all of this? A TREE. Not just any tree, but apparently a tree that white students pretty much labeled theirs. When black students sat under this tree, three nooses appeared the next day. Somebody tried to burn the school down, people started getting upset...you know the drill.

I'm upset because the criminal justice system in this country is so fucked up - and that racism is so blatant - that white students can label territory like dogs label territory when they take a piss...white students get a slap on the wrist whereas black students are almost given the needle...and we're supposed to have a constitution and a bill of rights in this country.

I mean, isn't it written that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL? Or have we completely thrown that out of the window?

--------------------------

Speaking of throwing things out of the window, our lying son-of-a-bush had the unmitigated gaul of getting on television saying that "The economy is strong" and "unemployment is down". Well Bush, let me tell you some things. Unemployment is NOT down, unemployment is at an all-time high -- I should know, I'm unemployed and can't find a job anywhere! The economy is in the toilet and is in bad shape, I mean the US dollar equals 73 cents to the EURO!

The good news is that according to the Secret Service web site, presidents only receive secret service protection for 10 years after they leave office. Clinton was the last president to receive lifetime protection! I can see people in 2018 lining up and taking numbers now.....

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Life

Have you ever sat on a bus or on the subway and just looked at other people and wondered what stories they could tell? I do that from time to time. It's interesting just to think about where other people have been, where they are going and what they are going through.

Life is funny to me in that regard.

You never know what a person is truly going through just by looking at them...or by listening to what they are saying. I had to learn that the hard way by looking back on my life thus far and thinking that everything that is going on thus far is by far the worst. There is always somebody going through something much worse than I, I've discovered.

Oh by the way, speaking of life, I've started importing my entries from my old blog into this one. You can access all of the 2006 and most of my 2005 entries from the menu on the right. Just by reading some of those entries, I (and hopefully you as well) can see where I've been and what I've been though.

Hopefully I'll be understood a little more.

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All the hell I been through

The past 24 hours have been by far some of the worst I've ever experienced.

For starters, some of my so-called friends and associates, i've learned, are not to be trusted. My one standing philosophy is, "if you say you're going to do something, do it, if you can't, let me know". Not a hard thing to do right? Yesterday, there were two individuals that were supposed to do something for me, and neither of them (a) did it or (b) let me know. So naturally I'm a little disappointed, because I needed these two individuals on yesterday (you'll see why in a second), and they weren't man enough to live up to their word.

But that's not all.

I got a letter in the mail yesterday from the place I interviewed with last week. You know, the typical "thanks for interviewing but you've wasted your time" letter. Another big letdown because I went in, told the truth, showed off all my skills, was very professional but still didn't get the position. Now I have no further interviews scheduled and it's very frustrating because the money is running very very low. I wanted to get away to DC for a weekend just to regroup, but now I can't even do that.

But wait, it gets even better.

I did receive a small blessing from US Cellular on yesterday - my deposit, plus interest, was refunded to me. Seeing as it was after 6 when I checked my mail and got it, I ran down to the Bank of America downtown and had to deposit it into the mini-bank ATM. I've done deposits before and have never had a problem....until now. The mini-bank ATM froze during processing, and not only did it eat my card, it ate the check and did not process it into my account!!! Now the branch is closed and there's no one there that can help me so I had to call customer service (or lack-of customer service). They told me, in a nutshell, that there was nothing that could be done until tomorrow morning, and that the card was going to be destroyed. When I was told that, it was the final straw for the day and I almost cried on the phone. Fortunately I had a backup ATM card, which I used at Walgreen's to get cash back and went out to have a couple of stiff drinks. I tried to call two individuals (the same two from the paragraph above) to vent about what happened - but lo and behold, they weren't anywhere to be found!

I thought sleeping it off would help matters...but it didn't.

This morning I got up and checked my account, because the lack-of-customer-service told me that the machine would be serviced at 8:00pm and that the check would still post to my account overnight. IT DIDN'T. So I got up and went down to the bank to talk with someone. First, I was told that the machine wouldn't be serviced until 9:00am, which meant I had to wait about a half-hour. That wasn't the problem. I then tried to get a cashier's check for the rent at one of the tellers and I was told I would have to pay A SIX DOLLAR FEE. I haven't been charged a fee for a cashier's check in at least six months, so I argued with the teller, who went and consulted with a manager, who told him that the fee was valid. I told him to withdraw all of the money in my account, because now I've had just about enough of Bank of America. He did and I personally went to speak with a manager, who told me that same stupid story, at which time I told her that her tellers haven't been charging me for months because there was a notation on my account. She checked the account (with the assistant manager) and all of us (the managers and the tellers) had a meeting about it, at which point they all apologized saying "that notation was not to waive the fee but to discuss accounts with you that could potentally waive the fee". The assistant manager then comes over with the list of accounts and I told him "if you're going to do what I think you're going to do, don't." I even threatened to close my accounts at that second if something wasn't done.

And just like that, they recovered the check that was stuck in the ATM all night. The manager promised to deposit it into my account immediately, and the first $100 would be available immediately. I came home and checked and found that to be a lie, but that's neither here nor there. Customer service filed a complaint against the manager on my behalf and credited my account for the full amount of the check.

Finally...remember when I said earlier that I was a little disappointed with individuals that didn't live up to their word? One of said individuals called me this morning (about 16 hours late) with a lot of bull as to why they didn't live up to their word. I simply told them that I do not care, which I don't. I hate the fact that for certain people I've had to go into bitch mode but at times it's necessary.

Y'all pray for me.

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September 11, 2007

May we never forget....

A Stupid Mistake

Because of a stupid mistake that I made a year ago, the job offer that I received last week has been rescinded.

I don't feel like talking about it right now. I'm pissed at myself for allowing this to happen.

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This past weekend

This past weekend has been a very crazy weekend, both good and bad.

For starters, one of my best friends lost his 19 year old boyfriend to pneumonia. Yesterday he was a wreck, but I'm confident that, in time, he will be somewhat ok, even though that is an understatement. Please pray for him.

Then, my baby and I had a major major fight on Saturday night and then again on Monday night (which is why I needed a moment). However I'm happy to say that we're ok once again, even though for a moment it almost resulted in our ending the relationship. I'm not going into who started it or even why it got started, but needless to say we're OK again. Thank you to all of those that know the circumstances and prayed for us.

Finally, I received a call yesterday afternoon from one of the companies that I interviewed with. It was funny because the person that called didn't call from a company phone, they called from their company-issued cell phone, and I nearly didn't answer the call (I don't answer calls on my landline from individuals that I do not recognize). I'm glad I did, because that person told me that the company IS MAKING ME A JOB OFFER!!! Will I accept it? Of course!!!

An offer letter is being prepared as we speak!!!

Finally, since I've been made the offer, all of my initial trip plans are now back on. I plan on taking my friend with me to DC in October, and possibly visiting Atlanta in November, depending on how everything goes. God willing, I should be back on my own two feet by October.

I thank God for having my back during all of this, and for answering my prayers for this position. Don't let anybody tell you God doesn't hear you or answer prayer, because I'm a living testimony that He does!

End transmission.

I'm taking a break, but take my friend test until I get back!

Create your own Friend Test here

Entry for August 26, 2007

After a major fight, I need a moment.......

A Night On The Town

Last night my baby (and his best friend - not pictured above) and my best friend went out to Spin nightclub for their hip-hop night. Believe me when I say we had an absolutel good time!!! The music was bumpin, the drinks were on point (well after the first one anyway) and the folks (including us) were out there dancing the night away!! This was the first time I'd been out in a while, and the first time that we'd all been together to go out EVER. But we all had a good time! After we had to drag my friend off of the dance floor, all four of us walked up the street to this greasy spoon called Clark St. Dog and loaded up on the food, then staggered outside and hailed a cab - now while we were getting in the cab this hype walked up to me and was like "you going that way?" I told him "naw, we full" and closed the door on him. (Oldest trick in the book: someone walks up to you getting into a cab, offers to pay on the fare, you get to their destination and suddenly they don't have any money, get out and run away. Not on my watch!) We got back to my house, ate and fell asleep.

All in all, an absolutely wonderful evening.

The One-Year Mark

We did it.

We made it through a wonderful year together.
Here's to another wonderful year baby.

I love you.

Oh before I forget, the job I mentioned in my last entry is currently running my criminal background and I was sent for a drug screening on Friday. Guess that means that pending everything coming back ok, I have a new job! I'll keep you posted.

The Month Of July

Well, a few things have happened this month so far...

For starters, a man committed suicide last night inside the Macy's store here in Chicago. I didn't witness the actual fall, but I did see the man after he fell as he lay on the floor. He jumped from the 8th floor balcony inside the store and subsequently died. All this happened right at closing time, so several people did see him, including two security guards and dozens of people leaving the store at that time. I'm amazed that Macy's didn't even bother covering up the body until after the Chicago Fire Department arrived, thus all of us outside of the store could see him. SHAME ON YOU MACY'S. The man was 29.

On the job front, after all the hell that my job put me through, they let me go on July 5th - right in the middle of my shift. When HR escorted me back to my desk to retrieve my belongings, they had cleared all of the white chicks out of the area. Guess they thought I was going to go postal or something (if that was the case, where was security?). Needless to say I'm not only getting unemployment, but because they hired another chick to take my place and are now an all female environment, and because they had been treating me totally different while I was there because I'm a male, I filed a complaint with the EEOC and submitted all of my evidence. In other words, they're going to pay me.

On the relationship front, next week is my one year anniversary with my baby. We've each planned some things for us to do during that weekend of the 3rd-5th. In fact, not only is the 5th our official one year anniversary, but it is also the 6 year anniversary of my church membership, and possibly my first Sunday serving as an usher. Also, my baby and I are planning on moving in together (finally) next March, out in the western suburbs. We've both decided that we've had enough of city living (and city stupidity), so we're going out to the burbs where people have a lot more common sense.

Oh, before I go, let me vent on something:
Why is it that most negroes are ignorant as hell? Living in the city I have come to expect the unexpected, but some of these negroes - no, strike that, ignorant wanna-be-ghetto negroes are as stupid as they are ignorant. They have no sense of morals and have the mentality of little children. Last night after witnessing the suicide at Macy's, this young ghetto negro was sitting on the bus, sitting sideways with his feet handing all out in the aisle, and didn't want to let this older gentleman sit next to him. The older guy had to push his way in and the younger guy started going off on him, as if the seat was his personal couch. I'm sure everybody reading this blog can relate at one time or another to an ignorant ghetto negro.

Y'all pray for me on my interview tomorrow. Getting this job will definitely be a very wonderful thing in my life. More on how it went tomorrow.

End of transmission.

It's Pride Time again!

Well everyone, it's time for gay pride here in Chicago again, a time for everyone to act like a fool and get totally drunk.

Let's not forget that it's time to get as many numbers as we can, get laid as much as we can, and see how many fights will happen at Montrose beach this year.

Typical for Chicago's gay pride, there will be a parade on Sunday and the afterset will follow at Montrose beach. I'll have pictures up on Sunday evening.

But what I want to know is, what does gay pride mean to you? I'd like to know. Is gay pride a huge meat market, a celebration of being gay, or is it one day to take over the streets and drink like we've never drunk before? Please leave a comment stating which one, and why.

HAPPY PRIDE!!!!

I'm Back!!!

(Note: Pictures available at this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chgocutie/sets/72157600317053963/)

I've returned from my big 30th birthday trip, and when I say I had a good time and partied, believe me when I say I have a goog time and partied!!!!!

It all started last Tuesday in Miami, when I arrived at the Hilton Miami Airport. I had spoken to the front office manager for weeks trying to get everything situated...the room, things to do, etc. When I arrived, the staff was absolutely wonderful! The hotel itself was truly beautiful. The hotel is situated in the middle of a private lagoon that is absolutely...awesome, to say the least. The room was a two-level townhouse suite, complete with in-room spiral staircase and a balcony that overlooked the private lagoon, pool and downtown Miami. My friend Amanda that lives in Florida joined me for day 1, and as soon as we put our bags down in the room, room service knocked on the door and delivered a birthday cake, soda and sparking water courtesy of the hotel! It was truly a surprise, and I almost cried when I saw it! I made sure to personally thank all of the management staff for "catching me off guard" if you will.

Amanda and I picked up the rental car and drove around Miami for a while. It is a beautiful city, and if you've never been, be sure to go! That evening, we drove down to South Beach (aka SoBe) and went out to some of the clubs down there. Yes, the boys were out, and yes some of them were fine as hell, but almost all were very superficial. If you didn't have a 44 inch chest, 19 inch biceps or basically look like you lived, breathed and ate the gym, they didn't even say hello or even look in your direction. In fact the one person that did eventually speak and carry on a brief conversation was this guy from ATL that was in the bar with us, and that convo was just to find out where we were from and what time it was! Besides that, the two of us had a wonderful time.

DAY 2: Amanda and I picked up my baby and my friend Bryant from the airport in Fort Lauderdale. We had lunch with Amanda's brother in Fort Lauderdale before starting our adventure. We drove down to SoBe again for lunch at Johnny Rockets on the beach and to take some pictures. (Oh by the way, speaking of SoBe, the MacArthur Causeway - the expressway to get there - was very close to the hotel, so we used it all the time, but the interesting thing is that it had a one-way toll of $1.25. You only paid the toll to get TO SoBe but you didn't pay it coming back! I thought that was kinda weird, coming from a city where there's no such thing as a one-way toll, but I digress.) We finally went back to the hotel and prepared for a night on the town. We went to Club Score in SoBe and to Club Twist on Washington St. Club Score was bumpin the beats and we stayed for a while! It was packed too! Unfortunately by this time all of the driving and running around had caught up with me and I started getting tired, so we left around 1am. Besides, we had to get ready for cruise day.

THE CRUISE - DAYS 3-6: I returned the rental car, came back to the hotel and we checked out, hopped into a taxi, and headed to the Port of Miami for three days in paradise. The trip there was uneventful...until we ran into significant traffic on the MacArthur Causeway. We were afraid that the taxi ride would cost more than the bus offered to us by the hotel, but it turned out not to be - it was actually cheaper. After we passed up the accident scene (Miami drivers are by far the WORST) we pushed full speed ahead to the Port. We arrived and our ship (The Majesty of the Seas) was there to greet us. We got our bags, gave them to the porter (and a $5 tip) and proceeded into the terminal. We wanted to get some pictures but was immediately told by a security guard to put our cameras and cell phones away or customs would confiscate them. So much for pictures of the actual port and terminal. The process to get on the ship was pretty straight forward - just think airport security: Metal detector, x-ray, giving up your first-born, stuff like that. Once we got past that, it was time to show citizenship, which meant filling out a bahamas form, going to the counter, showing our birth certificate and signing some forms, and getting our SeaPass, which was our room key, our ID card to get on and off the ship, and the card to pay for all of our onboard purchases. Once we got those, on to the ship we went!

The Majesty is a HUGE ship - not was big as some of the mega-ships nowadays, but huge nonetheless. It took me two of the three days to find everything on the ship, and even then I still got lost on occasion. We got on board and found our stateroom and met our stateroom attendant Jimmy, who was truly nice. We saw him every once in a while in the hallways, and he kept our room in excellent shape, even if we didn't! A half-hour before the ship departed, we had to participate in the abandon ship drill, which meant the alarms sounded and we put on our lifejackets and proceeded to the lifeboat deck (think Titanic). They lined us up in rows of three and told us how to put on our lifejackets. Then the Captain dismissed us over the PA system. Then the ship departed Miami, and we spent the evening in the bars having this drink called a Mango Cooler which I absolutely fell in love with! I fell in love with it so much I had that almost nonstop while I was there (when I got my statement I was shocked as to how many times I had it!) I also fell in love with the Casino on board - so much in fact that I spent $150 in three days time - and just about broke even.

Unfortunately Mother Nature didn't want to cooperate with us much. It rained off and on during the first day and a half of the cruise, so much in fact, that we had to cancel our stop at CocoCay. We saw it going past and ended up having another day at sea, which was all good. Jerome and I went to the captain's Q&A, the formal night (my baby looked KILLA in his tuxedo!) and a host of the shows - one of the shows on the very last night of the cruise was called The Quest - and unfortunately I can't say too much about it (what happens at the Quest stays at The Quest) but I never knew how interesting grown men looked in a certain article of women's clothing.....

Finally, the weather improved and we arrived at Nassau on the evening of Day 2. The Captain truly earned my respect - he took the ship, turned it 180 degrees and parallel-parked the ship into the port. I wish I had caught that on video because a cruise ship is not like a car, but he treated it like one - a luxury car that is. Once we docked, we stepped off the ship for a little while that night, but everything was closed. Turns out downtown Nassau closes up shop around 7:00pm nightly, and when we stepped off it was already after 10:00. So we decided to try it again the next day, which we did. Again, Mother Nature tried to fool us so as soon as we stepped off the ship the next day, we got right back on to get our umbrellas because it started pouring again. By the time we got our umbrellas it has stopped raining and the sun was shining. Go figure.

We walked off the pier to downtown Nassau, and the taxi drivers were lined up towards the end of the pier trying to get us to hop in a cab for either a tour of Nassau or a trip to Paradise Island (Atlantis). We opted to walk around downtown. While we were there we saw the oldest trick in the book: Some of the locals laid a $100 US bill on the ground, folded, and stood about 5 feet away from it, waiting for someone to pick it up. Yeah right, we pick it up and then you and your boys start a fight, take all of our money and get us locked up. No thank you. We bought some T-shirts and some other souveniers to take back home. Once we finished shopping and picture taking, we went back to the ship. We had to; it was extremely humid out there, so humid in fact that my digital camera stopped working. Good thing we went back because by the time we got back to our stateroom, everything we had worn had been sweated through! So after we changed clothes, we chilled out by the pool pretty much for the rest of the day.

Speaking of, there was one person that really made me feel welcomed on the ship; her name was Carlene, and she was one of the servers at the buffet. Each and every time that Jerome and I went to the buffet (which was just about every 3 or 4 hours - the food was THAT GOOD) she knew exactly what we wanted to drink and brought it over to us. She even remembered us by name (and for one person to remember that on a ship of over 3,000 people, that is TRULY an accomplishment!) I tipped her well both at the beginning and the end of the cruise.

Oh one last thing: The Alcohol. Jerome and I bought a LOT of alcohol to bring back, because it was all cheap and tax-free. For instance, I bought two liters of Absolut and two liters of Bacardi, and only paid $37 for all four bottles. The only problem was getting it home; we thought we could use the carry-boxes they provided for us at the airport, and was immediately told by the airport officials that we could NOT. This was after Royal Caribbean told us that we could! If we couldn't fit them into our carry-on luggage, we'd been screwed. Needless to say I pushed it all into my two bags and it all made it home safely.

We're already planning two cruises in 2008...one in February and one in May. It was that much fun!!! Again, I put pictures on my Flickr page at http://www.flickr.com/photos/chgocutie/sets/72157600317053963/

Sorry for the absence...

I just noticed that a month has passed without me putting another blog entry up, and I'm sorry about that, but a lot of things have been going on that have required my attention, both good and bad.

For starters, my best friend Webster went into the hospital almost two months ago and had a stroke. I went to visit him a few weeks back and needless to say when I visited back then, my heart sunk. Here is a 30 year old man that was very outgoing, funny and just downright silly at times, reduced to someone that couldn't speak, couldn't move without assistance - needless to say it was very emotional for me. But prayer works - as I was sitting in the house earlier this afternoon, my phone rang and it was the hospital main number. I started not to answer it because I was absolutely fearing the worst. I'm glad I did, because it was WEBSTER on the phone, able to speak and still as witty as ever!!! I almost broke down in tears again because I thought that I would never hear my friend speak again.

Then, on top of that, my job attempted to show me just how much they don't care for me. About two weeks ago, I was on a call with a customer when the director of my department (someone that obviously doesn't care for me very much) literally ran around the corner from her cube to mine and told me that she'd like to see me. She didn't say "I need to see you right now" or "put the call on hold and see me now", she just said "I'd like to see you". I was always told that the calls were priority except in cases of emergency, so I continued the call. When I was finished with the call, I went to see the director. No problem right? Well it wasn't until she attempted to put a false charge of insubordination into my employee file! I went directly to HR and told them that the charges were untrue and that I would fight that through to the end. When I was asked by the HR manager if I thought she was lying, I said "well, I wouldn't use the word lying because it's such a harsh word", she (the HR manager) immediately said "well either she's telling the truth or she's lying, which one is it", so I said "well she's lying". I then asked for a copy of every document in my employee file so I could turn everything over to my attorney, and she did not want to give me a copy of a document that was attached to the write-up form. Needless to say after I used the word "attorney" again, the documents were copied for me. Then, three days later, the write up suddenly disappeared from my file. I'm guessing they realized that the charges was bogus and they did not want a lawsuit, because I was certaintly ready to give them one.

Finally, I'm just preparing for my 30th birthday - and the cruise which is my birthday present to myself! Off to the Bahamas I go for three days next week, and Jerome and my friend Bryant will be in tow. I promise to put pictures up on either my Yahoo photos or my Flickr page once I get back - because there will be a LOT of pictures!!! I'll be in Miami for two days prior to the cruise, and I reserved a bi-level townhouse suite for all three of us (and for my good friend Amanda that will be joining me while I'm in Miami). This promises to be absolutely exciting!!! I can't wait!!!!

More later!

A Good Man

Let me tell you all how good my baby Jerome has been to me.

Two days ago I came down with a very nasty case of the flu - I mean fever, body aches, fatigue, the whole nine yards. In the gay lifestyle most individuals would run away from an individual that exhibited the slighest symptoms of being sick, but not my baby. Not only has he stayed nights with me to make sure that I'm ok, but he's even gone the extra mile by bringing me stuff that I need, like Gatorade, soup and the like. (Note: Still have some side effects of the flu, but I'm getting better.)

This isn't the first time that he's shown that he's a really good man. When we first got together, and people were spreading rumors about me, he ignored all of the rumors and stayed with me. Each and every time that I have needed him, he has been there. And eight months later, our relationship is still as strong as ever.

I love you papi.

Something I Thought I'd Never Do...and a Day At The Ballpark

Well today me and Jerome went out to enjoy a day at US Cellular Field, home of my favorite team, the CHICAGO WHITE SOX!!!!

We had a really good time. The beer was flowing, the hot dogs and pizza were off the chain, and the temperature was...well....COLD AS HELL. At game time (2:55pm) it was THIRTY DEGREES. Yes, you heard me correctly, THIRTY DEGREES. It was so cold out that you were guaranteed to freeze if you didn't have either a hot chocolate or a beer! Now, keep in mind that it was THIRTY DEGREES out, when we saw the craziest thing:

In addition, I did something today I thought I'd never do. I went out and purchased something that I thought I never would, simply because I've said for the longest that I would never get this piece of merchandise:

An IPod. An IPod Nano to be exact. Now I'm a part of the "IPod Civilization".

Why Are You Sweatin Me?

There are two people out there that get the "get off my dick" award for constantly sweatin me, even after THEY have told ME to stop contacting THEM, and I have complied with their requests. Why is it that people tell you to leave them alone, you comply, forget about them, and weeks, sometimes months later, here they come contacting YOU?

Let me give you these two stories.

First one's name is Randy. Lives in the city, loves to play all types of games, you know the types of games where you want to hang out with this individual in good faith, they agree, and then they either (a) don't show up or (b) have an excuse to want to cancel in the 11th hour - EACH AND EVERY TIME. Now Randy sent me a text message about a month ago saying "don't contact me anymore", simply because I told him he was full of shit and hadn't changed and will not ever change. I removed his number from my cell phone, took his text and e-mail addresses out of my phone book and forgot all about him....until he sent me a text message about 3 weeks later. I just so happened to be out with Jerome on this day when he sent the message, which I ignored. Four more messages followed, all of which I ignored, and then the phone call came in. I answered the phone and reminded him that we weren't speaking because of HIS request, and hung the phone up again. That stopped the calls and text messages...until last week. Again, I reminded him, a little more sternly, that we weren't speaking because of HIS request. He then said that it was more important to me to remain angry at him than to be his friend.

HOLD ON A SECOND!!!!

This is the SAME PERSON that told ME not to contact him! Someone please tell me how is that being a "friend"? I'm only a friend to him when he wants some dick, that's what it is. And now that I'm in a relationship with someone, here he comes knocking thinking that I'm going to give him some. Sorry Randy, but that shop is closed. Get the fuck off of my dick!

And now on to the second person.
His name is Corey and he lives in the city too. (Notice how all of these fools live in the city of Chicago?) Same circumstances, except he doesn't text message. He calls, and calls, and calls. Today he's already called twice, and both times he's left a voicemail. The second message I didn't even bother listening all the way through because he is a little boy that needs to get off of my dick too.

It's just funny to me that the warm weather is approaching and people that have basically told me to go to hell are now the same ones flocking to me. I guess what the Bible says is true: "He will prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies".

Well enemies, you all had your chance. When I was nice to you and did stuff for you, you didn't appreciate it. When I wanted to hang out with you, you were too busy in the park getting your dick sucked or taking it up the ass in the bushes. (I'm not judging people, so please don't start down that path.) All you wanted was some dick. And now that I'm in a relationship and happy and not trying to give you the time of day or chase after you or give you any more dick, you want to run back up on me! I ONLY WANT REAL MAN, NOT LITTLE BOYS.

Let me explain what a REAL MAN is. A REAL MAN will help you when you're down, not try and take your last meal. A REAL MAN will pay your rent if you lose your job and don't have any money. A REAL MAN will ALWAYS have your back. My baby is a REAL MAN, has been for the past eight months, and the two people I mentioned are little late ass boys. STOP SWEATIN ME!

End transmission.

Talk About Blunt!

Last Thursday night me and a buddy were at Gentry downtown on State Street having a couple of drinks after another hellish day at work (which I won't even get into right now). While we're in the middle of our conversation, this gentleman (sorry for the bad pic):

decided he was going to sneak up behind me and slap me on my back! I turned around and said "what the fuck...?" when he apologized and sat down next to both of us and just began having a conversation with us. It was ok for about the first three minutes, but then it turned...very quickly. He began complimenting me on how attractive I was and how attractive my eyes were (we're in a somewhat dark bar; how can you see the texture of my eyes?) at which point I told him that I was with someone (my baby was in class at the time) and that I could not and would not indulge him. He understood...until five minutes later he asked me the question:

Would I like for him to give me a blowjob?

At this point me and my friend decide to move to the sofas near the entrance to the bar. So we get up and move. Fifteen minutes later, here he comes again! Only this time he got his jacket out of the coat check, and sat on the sofas across from us, just watching. That's when I snapped the above picture, but he didn't seem to notice. As soon as my friend got up to meet his brother at the door, the man got up, walked over to me, and asked me:

Would you like to go home with me?

I told him at that point that I was not, and that he needed to leave then. The man complied, only to walk outside, cross the street, cross the street again and come back into the bar to have another drink! By this time my baby had arrived from class and seeing as my baby is a little bigger than him, the man left us alone.

Talk about a wild night!

My Baby's Birthday

Last Saturday night my baby, myself, and a few of his friends went out to dinner and drinks to celebrate his birthday. We all had a truly wonderful time.

I love my baby; what can I say?

Some Real Ignorant Shit

I saw two really ignorant things today, both of which I'm going to share with you....

First, look at this ignorant black negro. Do you put your feet up on your furniture at home? Do you not care about the next person sitting down? Or do you want that person to sit on all the shit you've walked on all day long? It's not like Metra doesn't make announcements telling people NOT to put their feet on the seats, but I guess you can't hear or didn't give a damn.

What I could not get a picture of was him taking a HANDI-WIPE and wiping down the sides of his shoes with it before putting both feet on the floor!

Then, these ignorant stupid wanna-be ghetto fabulous buck-tooth yellow-tooth b****es! (If I offend any females with that remark, I apologize.) They sat across from me and my other half on the train and didn't think we knew they were attempting to talk about us. Come on now! It's not our fault that you can't get a man because your holes are too tight (or loose, depending on how you want to take it), your teeth are too yellow and out of shape (go see a dentist; but that's right you're too busy trying to make babies and live on the Link card to allow that to happen), and you're basically UNATTRACTIVE.

What I did NOT get a picture of was me talking about both of them OUTLOUD and TO THEIR FACES before the train got to our station.

Good evening.

Let Me Tell You About Fags (Or Why I Don't Go Out With Anybody)

I can't stand individuals that try to pull some faggity late ass bullshit.

Tonight, with a little relunctance, I went out with one of my neighbors and one of his friends to The Baton (a lounge here in Chi-town). I printed out a 2-for-1 coupon, which would allow me to avoid the $10 cover charge. Long story short, at the end of the evening it was time to pay the bar bill....for 3 of us it came to $52.50. All I had was a credit card and stated that I would pay for what I drunk (which came to about $9.00). Instead both individuals turned on me and said "oh no, we're all paying 3-ways". This agreement was NOT explained to me before or during our excursion to The Baton. In a sense, I paid $17 more for drinks than I should have (I ended up paying $20), and was definitely NOT pleased about that.

Lesson learned: Either (1) don't go out with anybody, or (2) communicate how drinks, food, transportation, etc will be handled, and then DON'T GO. Chances are, people that are your so-called friends will end up stabbing you in the back and trying to rob you anyway.

Craziness In The City On A Saturday Night

Last night at the advise of one of my friends from Puerto Rico, I went out and experienced a Saturday night in the big city. The weather was nice and the people were definitely out! I started out at Hydrate (a club) on the north side of the city. It wasn't as crowded and I quickly became bored, so I took the Red Line further north to Jackhammer (another bar) and stayed there longer than I expected because I was having so much fun.

Here's where the craziness begins.

Coming back home on the Red Line, at about 1:30 in the morning, it all started with a group of very loud and obnoxious drunk caucasian men getting on the train at the Addison station. They got so loud and obnoxious that people started moving from the area where they were sitting to the area where I was sitting towards the front of the train car. They kept this up until we reached the Fullerton station two stops later, where this homeless guy gets on the train followed by another caucasian man who was pleading with him to not smoke on the train (which is illegal everywhere I believe). I got a picture of the homeless man (and of one of the obnoxious caucasian men) with my camera phone:

This guy was so out of his mind that someone gave him a dollar because they felt sorry for him I guess. He looked at that dollar and said "What the hell am I supposed to do with a dollar" and gave it back to him. All of the caucasian men started laughing, and at that point I had enough. When the train pulled into the Chicago avenue station I got off and quickly switched cars....

... only to watch two crackheads on the train snorting coke. Yes, ON THE TRAIN SNORTING COKE IN PLAIN VIEW. Now being reminded why I stopped going out on Saturday nights, I just wanted to get home, but not before the scariest moment happened.

At the Lake street station, this black girl gets on the train (who looked as if she had been crying by the way) with this Puerto Rican guy, and (of course) another homeless man. The Puerto Rican and the girl sit together in front of me and the homeless guy starts asking people if they had a solid dollar for four quarters. (Why do people do that anyway?) He gets to the girl and asks, but the Puerto Rican answers for her saying "she ain't got it". The homeless guy said "I was asking HER" and the Puerto Rican said "but she's with me". Words got exchanged, and the next thing I know, the Puerto Rican is standing up taking off his jacket getting ready to fight with this homeless guy on the train! The girl tried to calm him down but to no avail, and seeing as this was an emergency (for any CTA people that may be reading this), I ran through the emergency door into the first car, notified the operator of the fight, and got the hell off the train at the Roosevelt station.

Keep in mind all of these things happened within TWENTY MINUTES.

Yes, I won't be riding the CTA trains late at night anytime soon anymore. I'll stick with cabs.

Goodbye Old Friend

You will be missed.

The Nutbush, one of Forest Park's last remaining gay bars, is closing their doors for the last time tonight (Sunday, March 4, 2007) after being around for over 30 years. The reason? The Nutbush is to be torn down to make room for CONDOS.

I have no comment on that one.

Last night I went and the bar was packed on the last Saturday night of its existence. Here are some photos from last night:

And of course, I had to get into the act:

Mikey, one of my favorite bartenders.

For the life of me, I can't remember his name! Shame on me. :-)

Making The Connection

I was in church this morning and learned something very interesting. The preacher was talking about "Making The Connection" and referencing the story from 2 Samuel 12:13-23 about David losing his baby and not feeling too bad about it. In that story David sins against God and finds out through Nathan that He has forgiven him but his sin has a grave consequence - the loss of his child. So David begs God not to take his child and begins to fast, lie on the ground and pray. The child died on the 7th day. David does not throw a tantrum or cuss out God, instead he gets up, washes himself up, puts on lotions and eats. Of course, people do not understand why he isn't throwing a holy tantrum, so David says "I fasted and wept while the child was alive hoping that the Lord would be gracious, but why fast when the child is dead? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me".

How do you make the connection? It's simple:

- Confess your sins to God
- Enter into a period of deep contemplation
- Continue to worship God
- Make a conscious choice to move on
- Develop some coping skills

Truly amazing. I'd never had thought, but now I know. And now you know.

A follow up to my last entry

Well my manager and I had a meeting today (I called this one) and we hammered some stuff out. Basically now we have an understanding. The understanding is that as long as they don't bring bullshit to me, I'll do my best. The minute the bullshit comes back is when I go to HR. Needless to say management doesn't want me to go that route so they agreed to let me do my job.

So I've started hitting the gym even harder. I'm now going 3-4 times a week working on abs, biceps, triceps and every-other-type-of-ceps you can think of. When I signed up for the gym membership 2 months ago, my waist size had ballooned to a 34, up from a 32. I got the waist back down to a 32 and developed a nice chest and nice arms (as I've been told). Nice work for the $59 a month I'm paying....

...especially since I'm going on my first cruise for my birthday in June! My ship leaves from Miami on June 1st, and at midnight on June 2nd the ship will be on international waters, so yes, I will be VERY fucked up! I've already said that I'll be on the top deck of the ship with a glass of champagne in my hand, surrounded by friends and having an excellent time. Gotta do it right for my 30th birthday, right?

A Lot of Stuff Packed Into One Entry

Well I got a lot of things going on in this entry, so let me get started...

First, work hasn't gotton any better. In fact, my manager and I had a discussion yesterday over a lot of stupid shit:

- It was reported to her that I've been coming in late, even though I've been reporting on my timesheet that I've been coming in on time, but she couldn't/wouldn't get into any specifics. So now according to individuals that aren't even in our department, and that don't even know me, I'm lying on my timesheet, which is a serious offense. I told her to pull my Kastle Security Card detail if she EVER had any doubt about my time.

- It was reported to her that when I go to the restroom I'm gone for 10-15 minutes. So now it seems like I have a time limit for going to the restroom. I told her that I'm not going to rush for her or anyone, and that if it takes me 10-15 minutes to use the restroom, then it is going to take 10-15 minutes.

- It was reported to her that there are times that I pull myself out of the incoming call queue and go off and do other things. So according to her, I make my own rules and don't think about anybody but myself. Let us not forget that I've received THE MOST THANK YOU NOTES from customers in the shortest period of time - but I'm only thinking about myself.

There's more but I'm not going to get into everything, as that will take up my entire entry. Needless to say, my resume is going out, because there's a difference between "constructive criticism" (as my manager called it) and NITPICKING.

Moving on.....My baby and I went to the Auto Show tonight, and saw some HOT CARS, especially the new car that Lincoln is coming out with. See the pictures and YOU be the judge!

This car is supposed to come out in 2008!

Finally....I went to Washington, DC recently, and took my certification test for my job. While I was there I hooked up with some friends and we had a good time. Yes, on my last night of being there, I got totally drunk and flirted with a lesbian stud on the train (this is after 3 apple martinis and a long island), but I had a good time.

This comes after I had to raise hell with the hotel because they put me in a room where the lock didn't work, and they upgraded me to a suite, complete with big screen flat screen TV. Needless to say I thought I was on top of the world - even if it was only for one day.

They workin my nerves!!!

I know every job has its ups and downs, but it seems that at this new job I'm being picked on for no apparent reason. Let's take for instance the fact that I'm the ONLY male in the entire department...and I've already let my intentions known: come to work, make the CUSTOMERS (not the women) happy, collect a paycheck and go home. Apparently some of these women...including management...have other ideas.

Yesterday I had a very difficult customer call me requesting information that we are not permitted to give out over the phone. I tried to explain to him that we can't, I wouldn't, and the reasons why. When he asked for a manager, I told him in a calm way that she would say the same thing and that it would be a waste of time. He insisted. I transferred him. And then here comes my manager tapping me on the shoulder saying "I'm taking you off the phones for a few minutes...you need a time out". WHEN THE HELL DID WE GET BACK TO KINDERGARTEN? TIME OUT??? It burns me up when I have a situation handled and all of a sudden they make it seem like I'M doing something wrong. Not one time did I get upset, yell, scream, or anything at this customer. But I need a time-out. WHATEVER.

Then...there was the co-worker that snapped at me for no apparent reason while I was sitting at my desk minding my business. (Yes, another female!) So I walked away and had a "chat" with my manager. She said she would speak to the co-worker, which she did. But when she pulled me back into her office, she told me that I (yes, I) need to try a different approach. TO WHAT? FOLLOWING DEPARTMENT PROCEDURE???

With all that being said, I'm doing some wrong stuff right? Well not according to these customers who were kind enough to send e-mails to my manager about me. Here's a couple of them:

"Rules and processes are a wonderful thing. As a Human Resources professional, I am the first to point out why they are in effect. Because they ensure consistency, compliance, and accuracy....rules need to be followed. Those who know me can tell you how I am a STICKLER for the rules!

Imagine my shock when I tried to order the tests last week, and was told that I was not actually certified. I took my Food Safety and Train-the-Trainer classes last spring, and we have been planning our first class for two months. I panicked when I learned that it may take 5-6 days to "officially" certify me, and another 16 days to get the tests!

That just wouldn't do for me this time. My class is THIS Monday 2/5 and the test is 2/12.

That's when you came in. I am very thankful that YOU answered my phone call. You clearly explained the process and realized that lecturing me about my oversight was not going to get me anywhere. Your "rules" didn't work for our game plan. You remained calm, walked me through the process, and gave me confidence that you would work with me to "make it happen". Your e-mail yesterday confirming my certification and the follow-up phone call earlier this afternoon that my tests would go out Monday will allow me to breathe a sigh of relief.

Thanks again for your assistance and for being so accommodating. I hope you won't mind me using this example as I teach my future customer service classes! (Of course, I would be the "problem" customer and you are the customer service hero!)

I hope you have a GREAT weekend!
Sara Williams"

"Thank you so much for your prompt attention. The next time I am in your facility, I will personally thank you.
Sincerely,
Helena Barton"

And that's just TWO of the many messages I (and management) have received. But I'm doing something wrong. That's OK. I printed each and every letter, forwarded it to my private e-mail, and will be taking them along with my resume to search for another job. Anytime you're in an environment where folks have it in for you and make you the culprit for stuff, it's time to look for another job.

More later.

I'm Back!!!

I know, I know, it's been too long and I haven't posted AT ALL this year, but got caught up with work and home issues.

For starters, the new job is going along very well. It's a little challenging, but for the most part it is OK. The company is very very good and most of the people there are cool to hang around. (I say most because there's always a few.) In fact we have an all staff meeting on tomorrow, and we've been told to wear business casual attire. On top of that the CEO of the parent company that I work for resigned today. This should be interesting.

Jerome and I are doing ok. We have bumps in the road like any couple, but for the most part we're doing OK. Because I can't add him to my lease nor give him keys to my apartment due to community restrictions, we decided that for the time being he'd get his own apartment and that after my lease runs out, we'll get somewhere together. I hate that decision, but I know that it's for the greater good...for all concerned. Plus I don't want to piss off the building manager, because this upcoming summer I will be hitting her up for an air conditioner. :)

In about two weeks I'll be heading to my "second home", which is Washington DC, where I'll be taking a certification exam at the home office, then staying for the weekend. As much as I am out there (and will be out there, primarily for work), I guess I can declare DC my "second home", officially. I love DC, even though I had some issues the last time I was out there with some people, but for the most part they've all been worked out.

I promise to write more often.

More later.

It's Almost A New Year

We're almost at 2007 y'all!!!

Let me say HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!

Let me lay a few things down before this year runs out:

- Today in Chicago six people were shot at a house party on the south side. My other half knows one of the people that survived, and we talked about the situation this evening while we were at dinner. I stated that while I don't condone what happened (two guys kicked in the door and started shooting), we don't really know what was truly going on at that house. Now I'm not casting judgement or pointing fingers/accusing anybody of anything, but honestly, out of all of the houses on the block, why this one? And then it hit me when we were watching CLTV and this individual gets on the TV and shows just how fucking ignorant some wanna-be thugs can be by saying "this is a normal straight neighborhood....they need to take that stuff back to the suburbs..." I heard that and immediately was furious. Why don't you take your wanna-be straight wanna-be thuggish no walls little dick ass back to Harvey where you came from? Stop showing your ignorance all over national television and just shut the hell up!

- Tonight one of my now ex-friends named Justin was supposed to come down to Chicago from East Chicago and hang with us at my New Year's gathering. After confirming with him last night what train he would be on, and what station he'd be getting off at, I left my house this evening to ride down to McCormick Place to wait on his train. The train arrived on-time...but he was nowhere to be found. I called his phone several times, but no answer. Why is it that folks can't call or send a text message if something comes up...or if they just don't feel like riding down to Chicago? I digress.

- Finally, 2007 will be a better year. I can't speak for everyone, but I know it will be a better year for me....my other half....for both of us.

Have A Happy New Year!!!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

I've returned from being out of town for a little while, and it's good to be back. Needless to say when you go out of town, you may have fun but if you don't appreciate what you have waiting back at home, then you really didn't have any fun.

So far work is going great! I'm almost two weeks ahead of my training schedule, and I'm going "on-line" starting on Wednesday...about 9 days ahead of schedule. My manager and co-workers all think I'm doing a wonderful job, and I'm loving the atmosphere. In fact, this company is so good that because Christmas Eve fell on a Sunday, we had the choice of being off on either Friday the 22nd or Tuesday the 26th. I picked the 22nd because of my trip, but everybody else in the department picked the 26th - which means that on Tuesday when I go back to work I will be the only person in my entire department. My manager let me know that lovely fact right before I left work on Thursday. No problem - just means I'll be getting paid to sit on my ass for seven hours and do nothing. Think I'll take some books to read.

Now to my baby and me. Yes it's official - we're engaged. Rings and all. He surprised me last week with the ring (the question had been asked already) and it completely caught me off guard. Needless to say I was very overwhelmed and excited at the same time. Baby, I Love You.
I can't get into what I got him for Christmas just yet, because he's not here and I don't want him stumbling onto that information before I pick him up this afternoon. In fact he's at his mother's house, which is where he's been since I left on last Thursday. But we've been in constant contact via SMS (text messages) and phone calls...even when I was going through drama out of town.

Speaking of out of town, have you ever had a moment where you just HAD to talk to God? I was on the flight heading out Thursday evening, and the Captain had warned us before takeoff that the ride could be a little bumpy. Now I've flown for years but everytime we hit a moderate amount of turbulence, I still get a LOT nervous. So needless to say that when we started shaking, rattling and rolling, I started really talking to God. And you know what? The turbulence eased. Talking to Him does work!

I'll be back a little later!