10/30/2005

A Weekend With Niggas Saying The Same Shit

This weekend was fairly active. Let's start with Saturday. There were three people I met, and we'll start with Firefighter. He's 40, resides 6 hours east of Chicago, and yes, is a firefighter. We met online, and from the start it was just going to be a hookup. I picked him up outside his hotel and brought him back to my house. He wasn't unattractive, but he wasn't attractive either. (Ever had one of those?) So we came back to my house, and we talked for a few minutes. Then we got down to business. He sucked my dick and sucked my nipples, and I fucked him until we both busted a nut. Then we cleaned up and I took him back to his hotel. Not mind blowing, not even real exciting, just...mediocore I guess.

Then came one of the two people that fucked my head up. We'll call him Drexel. I've known Drexel for 5 years now, and I have always truly found him to be extremely attractive. He's light skinned, 28, about 6 feet and has a very nice build. We met online, talked for a little while, and I went over to his house. When I got there, I noticed it was a very nice place, lots of room and has the potential to be very airy and full of light. We went into his bedroom and I did a little troubleshooting on his computer and actually got it fixed. Then we laid down on his bed and started kissing, then feeling on each other, then we ended up doing a 69. Brotha man can really work it out!!! Then he let me fuck him, and his ass had to be one of the tightest I've had in a long time. Three positions and 30 minutes later, we both nutted, then laid there for a little while. Here's the fucked up part of it all. I almost got "attached" to Drexel right there. Laying there next to him brought up a whole lot of feelings, and I actually asked myself "can I see myself in a relationship with this guy?" I guess the answer was yes because I called him this evening and asked him "what are we doing?" Then he got into this whole speal about how he's not looking for a relationship because he doesn't want to rush into one right now...he just got out of one and it ended on a bad note...yadda yadda yadda. In other words, the same line I've heard about 50-11 million times with folks that I've wanted to be with, but don't want to be with me, or just want to maintain the sexual aspect of it all.

Next up...the other person to fuck with my head...I'll just call him E. E is someone I've known, again, for a few years. The only difference between E and Drexel is that E spent the night over here, and he didn't give me that lame line that Drexel did. Instead he told me that we can "let it develop", meaning we can date. That's fine with me. I'll date him and we'll see where it goes.
Finally, there's Brooklyn. A very sexy nigga from New York. Real quickly, he came over, and I fucked the hell out of that thug boy. In his Timberlands. He wanted me to hit it hard, and I did just that...hit it hard and hit it fast. But I digress.

Before I go, I just want to say this. Tonight I stood at my window and looked out at my view and realized something: I'm Lonely. I hook up with people for companionship, and it's only a temporary measure. Sex is good but it gets tired after a while. People that I want don't want me or they have issues...and try to make their issues my issues. Maybe one day I will find someone that I want that wants me...and that either doesn't have issues or won't try to make their issues my issues.