8/25/2008

The Destruction Of Two Relationships

I have effectively destroyed two relationships.

About two weeks ago, two of Chris' friends that are a couple began flirting with me, individually. Neither knew what the other was doing. Messages were exchanged, and it got to a point whereas we started having very hot discussions. At NO time was there any physical contact; it was all verbal and via text - a "fantasy world" if you will.

Then I heard yesterday's church sermon. Pastor Moss spoke on relationships. He spoke on how individuals do not have to lie to be in a relationship, and then it hit me: I was one of those individuals that was living a big lie by not being more upfront and honest with Chris.

So what did I do?
I called both persons individually and told them that what we were doing had to stop. Neither took it very well (and one half of the couple even went as far as suggesting that they (the couple) keep to themselves while on the cruise (and as such I moved them down one deck), and that after the cruise I disappear).

Then I told Chris. Needless to say he's hurting very much, and I quite possibly have effectively ended our relationship by telling him the truth.

So what do I do?

End Transmission.

2 comments:

ponoono said...

Its the typical conundrum.. Is watching porn cheating? Is watching a guy JO on webcam cheating? Is exchanging flirty text messages flirting? Hot text messages?

All of the above is simply electrons being arranged and displayed on a monitor of some sort. Its not flesh and blood. It is not "people".

Talking to someone in person or even on the phone is another matter.. then you have crossed a clear line. You have actual human contact.. and that IS cheating.

My two cents.

You also have a cute face really. My third cent.

Cocoa Rican said...

Well pa, here’s the skinny:
Cheating is not just a matter of physical interaction and can sometimes involve verbal, emotional or electronic contact. If the exchange is inappropriate and would make you upset or uncomfortable if your partner were in the same shoes, then consider it cheating. Obviously, the repercussions of physical cheating are far harder to accept or forgive, but don’t minimize Chris’ potential to feel betrayed and hurt.

Accept that being sorry doesn’t exonerate you for what you’ve done. This means that Chris needs time to digest and move beyond the incident.

Continue to be there for Chris and reiterate that you love him and you recognize you’ve made a mistake. Don’t look for immediate forgiveness or his telling you that “All is okay.”

That said, you took a very powerful, brave and up-and-up stand when you told Chris about what had occurred. In my book that buys you, potentially, a second chance. I’m very BIG on folks coming clean, admitting their wrongdoings and being honest. In time, it is this point that will have Chris either A) take you back and move forward OR B) Respect your honesty, but move on

Now…two slaps on those hands for letting the flirtation get the best of you and ONE BIG HUG for doing the right thing and coming forward.

In these times do your best to be humble, be quiet and just stand.